I have been selected as an additional General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviewer for this draft (for background on Gen-ART, please see http://www.alvestrand.no/ietf/gen/art/gen-art-FAQ.html ). Please wait for direction from your document shepherd or AD before posting a new version of the draft. Document: draft-ietf-mmusic-rfc2326bis-38.txt Reviewer: Elwyn Davies Review Date: 2013/11/19 IESG Telechat date: 2013/11/21 Summary: This draft is ready for publication as a Standards Track RFC. My extensive last call comments on the main body of the draft have been thoroughly dealt with - thanks, Magnus and others. I didn't have time previously to review the appendices in detail. Below are quite a few nits relating to the appendices that can be dealt with during RFC Editor processing. (A couple of them are areas where a little extra clarification or explanation is needed rather than purely language issues). Major Issues: (none) Minor Issues: (none) Nits: General: agree on consistent use of either 'lower layer' or 'lower-layer'. s App A: s/how functions/how the functions/, s/syntex illegal line breaks/line breaks that are not allowed by the formal syntax but are needed/ ssA.1-A.4, paras just before message flow: In each case the example mentions 'movie' for the firsttime whereas the earlier txt just refers to 'media' It might be better just to stick to 'media'. sA.1: s/For purposes/For the purposes/, s/like the host/such as the host domain name/, s/equal value with date/to a value equal to the current date and time/ sA.3, para 1: s/crypto contexts to get a secured/cryptographic contexts to request and facilitate secured/, s/fetch this/fetch the media/, s/In the this session/In this session/, s/This is pipeline/These are pipelined/ sA.4, para 1: s/a bit more tweaks/a few more tweaks/ sA.7, para 1: s/clients request/client's request/ s App. B, para 1: s/response will returned/will be returned/ s App. B, para 2: s/If two or more is/If rwo or more streams are/ s App. B, para 3? s/The below state machine/The state machine below/ sB.4, para 1: s/one or more requisite/one or more prerequisites/ sB.4, para 2: s/requisite/prerequisite/ (2 places), s/restrictions to when/restrictions as to when/, s/As it in the general case can't be determined if it was an unrecoverable error or not/As it is not possible, in the general case, to determine whether an error was unrecoverable or not/ sB.4, para below Table 15: s/depending/dependent/ (2 places) sC.1.1, para 3: s/with use of/with the use of/ sC.1.2, para 1: s/over lower transport layer UDP/over a UDP lower transport layer/ sC.1.2, 3rd bullet: s/unless in case/except for the case when/ sC.1.2, 5th and 6th bullets are exact duplicates - remove one! sC.1.4, last para: s/as default/as the default/ sC.1.4.1: s/crypto/cryptographic/ sC.1.4.1, item 3: Does the cert validation process need a reference? sC.1.4.1, item 4: Does the encooding of the cert in the MIKEY message need a reference to say how it is done? sC.1.4.1, item 8 bullets: Expand 'spec' in various places. In last bullet s/to enable client/to enable the client/ sC.1.4.1, last para: s/where the client's identity is not necessary to authenticate/where it is not necessary to authenticate the client's identity/ sC.1.6.3, para 1: s/on short to medium/in the short to medium/, s/the used bit-rate/the bit-rate used/ ['used thingy' implies second-hand or recycled as opposed to 'thingy used' implies 'thingy (currently) in use']. sC.1.6.4, para 3 et seq (including sC.2.2, para 3): Consistent use of 'rtcp-mux' vs 'RTCP-mux'. sC.1.6.4, para 3: Is the first 'recommended' a 'RECOMMENDED'.. I am not sure. sC.1.6.4, para 4: Maybe be a pointer to IANA registration in s22.1.3 would be useful? sC.1.6.4, para 5: s/are here provided/are procided here/ [original form is right, but archaic] sC.2.1, para 2: s/go through/going through/ (probably) but I don't properly understand what the point of this 'note well' is supposed to be. What are the (evil/unexpected) consequences of the media streams going through the proxy - and why would they not do this otherwise? s2.2, para 1: s/over lower transport layer TCP/over a TCP lower transport layer/ sC.3, para 1: s/The below text/The text below/ sC.3, paea 2: I can't parse the first sentence. What is (not) affected by 'without being affected by jumps...'. sC.3, para 2 (and paras 3, 4 and 5): 'montotonically increasing' does not imply what I think is required, i.e., that the next sequence number is the one in the last packet of the previous range + 1 ['monotonically increasing' just means it isn't less than the one in the last packet and could be several more.] Maybe 'next in sequence'. sC.3, para 3: s/it arrives timely and still/it arrives in a timely fashion and still carries/, s/media has frame/media has a frame/, s/burden to render/burden of rendering/ sC.3, para 4: s/that anyway caches/that expect to cache/ sC.3, para 5: s/provided stream/generated stream/ (or maybe 'rendered' or 'delivered') sC.3, para 5: s/the RTP timestamp when resuming MUST represent the duration the delivery was halted/the RTP timestamp on resumption MUST have increased to a value that represents the time for which delivery was halted/, s/RTP sequnce number/The RTP sequence number/, s/that likely contain/that are likely to contain/, s/packets part/the packets that are part/, s/rely on that a server will align/rely on a server aligning the timestamps and sequence numbers/ sC.4, para 3: s/better opportunity/better opportunities/ sC.4, next to last para: s/misunderstood commonly/commonly misunderstood/ sC.6, para 2: s/can easier/can more easily/ SC.3: Might be better to (re?)expand NPT in this section rather than either sC.6 or sC.7 (or expand in all of them). sC.11, para 1: s/lower transport/lower layer transport/, s/to be meet/to be carried out/ (or at least s/meet/met/). sC.11, bullet 3: s/RTP info/RTP-info/??? sD.1.1, para 1: s/on media level/on the media level/ (or maybe 'in each media description'?) sD.1.1, 1st note para: s/use absolute URI/use absolute URIs/ sD.1.1, para after 1st note para: s/need special/needs special/, s/result in control URI/result in a control URI/ sD.1.5, last para: s/there exist no RTSP mode suitable for/no RTSP modes exist that are designed for/, s/in client/in the client/ sD.1.6, para 4/ s/non dynamic/non-dynamic/ sD.1.7, last para/ s/be unnecessary/being unnecesarily/ sD.3, para 1@: s/there are both a media-level/there are both media-level/ sD.4, para 2: s/grouped medias/grouped media/ s App. E: s/considered/regularly utilized/? (or just omit 'and considered' - not sure it gains anything and can't think what is really meant by it). sE.2, para 3: s/2 hour/2 hours/ sE.3, last para: s/receives the session/receive the session/ sE.4, para 2: s/redistribute/redistributes/ sA.3, para 3: s/valid MIKEY message/valid MIKEY messages/