Space Poop

(link:"You hear something")[It sounds a bit like your alarm. (link:"What should you do?")[What should you do? --- [[Ignore it]] [[Open your eyes and make sure this isn't a dream]] [[Smash the source of the annoying sound; right in the face]]]] (set: $yell to false)(set:$broken to false)(set:$crewone to false)(set:$dentback to false)(set:$dentrela to 1)(set: $medkit to false)(set: $mess to false)(set: $pipes to false)(set:$cure to false)(set:$button to 1)(set:$eva to true)(set:$jacknight to false)(set:$alt to 1)(set:$light to 1)(set:$dead to 1)(Set:$career to 1)(set:$ignore to 1)(set: $familiar to false)(set: $disaster to false)(set: $belt to false)(set:$valve to 1)(set:$spacerac to false)(set:$jacktab to false)(set:$mariachi to false)(Set:$thwarted to 1)(set:$prop to false)(set:$time to 0)(set:$condoms to false)

(set:$time to $time + 1)"(link:"Beep")[Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep." --- [[Keep ignoring it]] [[Open your eyes and make sure this isn't a dream]] ]

(set:$time to $time + 1)"(link:"BEEP")[BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP." --- [[Just keep ignoring it.]] [[Open your eyes and make sure this isn't a dream]] ]

(link: "PUNCH!")[You fire your hand forward in anger, aiming a groggy but powerful punch. If your arch enemy's face was in front of you, he would lose every tooth, (link:"but")[but your arch enemy's face is not in front of you; your sleeping bag is. (link:"The epic punch")[The epic punch bounces off of its hypoallergenic padding harmlessly. (link:"Now what?")[Now what? --- [[Open your eyes and make sure this isn't a dream]] [[Ignore it]] ]]]]

Your eyelids part. There is a computer monitor set two feet in front of your face. (link: "It displays some sort of blurry gibberish.")[Oh. That's the time: =><== (if:$time is 0)[(link:"''05:00''")[ ''05:00'']](if:$time is 1 or $time is 2)[(link:"''05:01''")[ ''05:01'']](if:$time is 3 or $time is 4)[(link:"''05:02''")[ ''05:02'']](if:$time is 5 or $time is 6)[(link:"''05:03''")[ ''05:03'']](if:$time is 7 or $time is 8)[(link:"''05:04''")[ ''05:04'']](if:$time is 9 or $time is 10)[(link:"''05:05''")[ ''05:05'']](if:$time is 11 or $time is 12)[(link:"''05:06''")[ ''05:06'']](if:$time is 13 or $time is 14)[(link:"''05:07''")[ ''05:07'']](if:$time is 15 or $time is 16)[(link:"''05:08''")[ ''05:08'']](if:$time is 17 or $time is 18)[(link:"''05:09''")[ ''05:09'']](if:$time is 19 or $time is 20)[(link:"''05:10''")[ ''05:10'']] --- [[Turn the alarm off, and keep sleeping.]] [[Begin your morning routine.]] ]

(link: "You'll need to turn the light on to do anything.")[ "Lights on," you say in a hoarse voice. (link:"Hm")[You consider how you sound like a chain smoker who has an acid gargling problem. (set:$tablet to false) After a second delay, the lights flip on (link:"and")[and they are brighter than a desert sun at noon. Your hangover migraine flares up in protest. (link:"Undo the zipper")[You try to unzip your sleeping bag, and it takes several tries because the zipper is a tricky little bastard. (link: "Try the zipper another time")[Finally you wrestle free of the bag. Your surroundings are part familiar, part unexpected disaster. --- [[Check out the familiar stuff.]] [[Examine the disaster.]] ]]]]]

Your hand fumbles inside your sleeping bag for the zipper. (link:"This isn't a dream")[You realize this is not a dream, because your head feels like it was caught in a collision between a train hauling nuclear waste and a fully loaded aircraft carrier. You don't pause too long to worry how that metaphor could plausibly happen in real life; (link:"because")[it makes your head hurt more. (link: "Find that stupid zipper.")[You find the bag zipper, pull it down, and dismiss the alarm using your freed hand. Ah, sweet, sweet sleep. (link: "You doze off...")[ --- [[A voice is yelling at you!]] ]]]]

(set:$time to $time + 1)(set:$ignore to $ignore + 1)"(LINK:"BEEP")[''BEEP''. ''BEEP''. ''BEEP''. ''BEEP''. ''BEEP''. ''BEEP''." --- (if:$ignore < 20)[ [[Open your eyes and make sure this isn't a dream]] [[Just keep ignoring it.]] ] (if:$ignore is 20)[ [[Seriously?]] ]]

You don't know what's happening, except that whatever it is, it's loud. (link:"Try making sense of the noises.")["--You should have been up cleaning out the pipes AN HOUR AGO! We got an E.V.A. in twenty minutes and if there's a burst pipe, your ass is on the line BUMBLE! I swear to Jesus, Mary, and Jehovah if you don't respond in FIVE SECONDS--" (set: $yell to true) --- [[Respond to the yelling man.]] ]

"Got it! I'm up sir. On my way." You tell Captain Flobble. You let a long, arduous (link: "sigh")[ "Ughhhhh-gaaahhh-fuuug," while struggling with the damn sleeping bag zipper again. --- [[Break the stupid sleeping bag open. Just Hulk out of it!]] [[Begin your morning routine.]] ]

"GRRAAAAAA!" You yell empowered by a raw disdain for all things hypoallergenic. Your hand smashes the computer tablet in front you as you flail around. (link: "Uh oh.")[The tablet is hurled off its mount to the far wall, thanks in part to zero gravity. Its screen cracks against a wall pipe. (link:"Sigh")[You sigh, knowing a replacement will come out of your paycheck. Your hand really hurts too, and your head throbs with the migraine. Plus, you're still stuck in your bag. (set: $broken to true) --- [[Begin your morning routine.]] ]]

(set: $familiar to true)Your "bedroom" is technically listed on the spaceship's blueprints as the "Sanitation Module." (link:"The shape")[It's rectangular: one and a half meters wide by two and a half meters long. Five of the walls are covered in brown padding, a bit like that fiberglass insulation in suburban houses on Earth. The sixth wall is the airlock, which is always left open; (link:"unless")[unless there's like a fire or something. (link:"The Sanitation System")[Attached to the brown padded walls are every manner of piping. The pipes are fitted with countless valves and connect to various shipboard systems. (link:"Urine processing assembly")[The "UPA" turns piss into drinkable water. Mmm, all natural. In space, water is the second most valuable resource; after air.] (link:"Bioenrichment array")[The BEA turns poop into soil. Nice and organic. It contains worms that can thrive, but only in specially compressed, and moist poop soil. You work on this contraption daily. Partly because it never works right. It's also the source of most of the smell in your bedroom.] (link:"The Beast")[The Beast is the loudest system in the sanitation module. It separates out liquids from solids, making loud compressor noises and swirling sounds when someone flushes the toilet on the other wall of your bedroom. Yes, you are aware of everyone's bowel movements.] Also in your bedroom is a (if: $broken is true)[now broken] tablet and sleeping bag; both mounted to one wall. --- (if: $disaster is false)[ [[Examine the disaster.]]] (if: $disaster is true)[ Grab your [[Tablet]]]]]]

(set: $disaster to true)Last night, you left a mess like none other in space faring history. (link:"An Ort cloud of objects")[Opened food bags float around the module. Occasionally they collide with other loose objects like your dirty clothing, empty drink pouches, and your ''maintenance toolbelt''. Admittedly, you are not a tidy person, but you never just leave stuff floating around the ship. Who knows what ship systems might be disrupted by the debris? (link: "Where to begin?")[You wonder what you should do first.] --- (if: $familiar is false)[ [[Check out the familiar stuff.]]](if: $familiar is true)[ Grab your [[Tablet]]]]

You push yourself off the wall, floating over to the red wall pouch that should have a med kit inside. (if:$condoms is false)[(Link: "Open the red pouch.")[There's a kit here alright. But as you sift through it there's only bandages, ointment, and (link: "condoms")[(goto: "condoms")]. No pills.(set: $medkit to true)]] --- (if: $mess is false)[ [[Clean up the mess.]]] (if: $pipes is false)[ [[Clean out the ship's pipes.]]] [[Leave bedroom]]

Good idea. You grab the bottles floating around and stuff them into some wall pouches. They look like the ones the lab techs brought with them. (link:"Read the label on one.")[It says, "95% Ethanol Solution." You snatch up all the the juice boxes; (link:"even the sneaky one")[including one that slipped part-way under a wall pouch thinking you wouldn't spot it. "Gotcha!" you tell it with a yoink. (link:"Check the label")[ The label says, "Orange Juice." Then in tiny letters: ^^only 10% juice^^ The clothes also need to disappear. (link: "Nab the clothes.")["Hm," you say when you get to a very female looking pair of underwear. You would definitely remember if something like //that// happened in your room. (link:"Put the clothes away")[You stuff all the clothes in their respective wall pouches--meaning they go in one labeled "Clean," or another labeled "Nope."(set: $mess to true)] --- (if: $medkit is false)[ [[Find a med kit for some painkillers.]]] (if: $pipes is false)[ [[Clean out the ship's pipes.]]] Fly over to the airlock and [[Leave bedroom]].]]]]

There's a complex array of pipes and valves that feed into a central unit for waste processing: (link:"The Beast.")[The Beast has a control panel with three buttons on it that you know all too well. That is because every day the ship's pipes need to be cleaned out with a special cleaning sequence. (if: $tablet is true)[Look up the [[tutorial video.]]](if: $broken is true)[ Even if you broke your tablet. Remember that? Yeah, "OOPS" is right.] --- [[Flush Pipes]] Check [[Your bedroom.]] ]

You grab your maintenace toolbelt. (set: $belt to true) It's standard issue, (link:"except")[except for the Klingon insignia pin. That was your addition. (link:"Well")[The black grease stains on it are also your addition, but those weren't intentional. --- (link-goto: "Go back.", (history:)'s last)]]

You pocket the condoms. (set: $condoms to true) Think you're going to get lucky with Dr. Tibschlitz tonight? (link:"Maybe?")[You wonder if that was her underwear. --- (link-goto: "Go back.", (history:)'s last)]

Without a second's hesitation, you firmly grab a worn handle sticking out from the wall. (if:$played is 1)[(link:"Click Here to Skip Ahead, if you hate words and reading.")[(goto:"Galley.")]] (link:"Push off")[You push yourself upward with a hard shove against the handle. Thanks to zero G, your body rockets through the hatch. The familiar smells and sounds of the sanitation module fade away. (link:"The station's layout")[Pecco's layout is a U shape. The stern modules are ''Sanitation'' and ''Docking''. The midship modules are the ''Galley'' and the and ''the Head''. The bow modules are the ''Flight'' and ''Passenger Quarters''. To get from one bow module to another, requires passing through the Galley and the Head.] --- Next up is the [[Docking module.]]]

A massive metal door juts out into the room. An autonomous supply ship is currently docked. In fact, it's been docked for a while now. Someone should really finish unloading it. (link:"Try to remember last night")[As a farewell to arms, you recall hosting a party last night in your bedroom; music, zero G dancing, obviously drinking. People were very encouraging. Even the Captain stopped by. (link:"And Jack")[You remember the station's engineer, Jack, saying he thought you actually had all the experience and savvy to get onto an Earth orbit station. But what happened after that? There's a red pouch on the other wall. (link:"Check inside")[Inside is a med kit. (link:"Unzip it.")[There are a few bandages, plastic tweezers, swabs, and the littlest most adorable tube of antibiotic ointment. (link:"ointment?")[You think about the word ointment. It sounds so funny. OINTment. OI! -ntment.]]] --- Fly down to the [[Galley.]] ]]

You're greeted by the surroundings of your favorite module: the one with all the food. A glance is enough for you to know something is wrong. [[Examine the Galley.]] (if:$crewone is false)[Someone else is in the galley too. He has back to you while he rummages through wall pouches. What is really surprising is that he's dressed in the flightsuit of a passenger, not one of the crew. [[Talk to him]]] --- Go back to the (link:"Docking module")[(goto:"dock two")]

(link:"Ah the familiar")[Ah the familiar; especially that bedroom-but-primarily-the-sanitation-module smell. (if: $belt is false)[ Your (link: "Maintenance toolbelt")[(goto: "Maintenance toolbelt")] floats in the middle of the room.](if:$tablet is false)[Your (link:"computer tablet")[(goto:"Tablet")] is next to the wall bag that you sleep in every night.] Lining the left wall are the (link: "sanitation machines")[(goto: "Clean out the ship's pipes.")] you listen to while trying to sleep. --- While the smells of chlorine and sewage put you at ease, it's time to get out of here. [[Leave bedroom]] (if:$mess is false)[ [[Clean up the mess.]]] (if:$medkit is false)[ [[Find a med kit for some painkillers.]]]]

This room is for waiting in idly. (link: "No it's not!")[No, it's the docking module. (link: "For docking?")[No, for people to float around in mindlessly. (link: "Nah-ah!")[No, obviously not dummy. Do you really not know what a docking module is for? (link: "What's that then? You wonder while pointing ahead.")[Oh the docking door?! Yeah that's the airlock door so you can dock with shit! (link: "Like what?")[Like the supply ship that's sitting right outside! You can literally see the supplies by looking through the open doorway. (Link: "I want to go in.")[Well you can't.(link: "Yes I can.")[No you can't. I'm not going to let you. Go somewhere else! There's a whole ship I already made for you!(link: "But I want two ships.")[NO! You get ONE ship. One GAME ONE SHIP!]]]]]]]]

(if: $broken is true)[Well even a broken tablet provides some assurance.] (if: $broken is false)[This will come in handy. YouTube is the only reason you can fix anything at all.] (set:$tablet to true) --- (if:$broken is false)[ [[Check the itinerary]]](if:$broken is true)[(link:"Check the itinerary")[(goto:"brokeit")]]

There's a lot of buttons to press and valves to turn in a specific order. It's pretty routine for you, but everything is a bit hazy this morning. (if: $dentrela is 1)[Your stomach rumbles. It doesn't help that your migraine is still raging. Maybe you should fix those things first.] --- (link: "Maybe, reconsider this course of action?")[(goto: "Your bedroom.")] (if:$dentrela is 2)[(link: "Give it a go")[(goto:"buttons")]](if:$dentrela is 3)[(link: "Give it a go")[(goto:"buttons")]]

"BWAH!" The man yelps in surprise. (link:"He turns")[He turns his head to look at you. He has short brown hair and a mouse-like face. (link:"It's")[It's Dr...something Dant. You're not good with first names; or last names usually. Except for Melinda Tibschlitz. You won't forget her. (set:$seengalley to true)(set:$dentrem to false) (link:"Introduce yourself.")["Sorry to scare you, I just wasn't expecting anyone to be up at this hour." "Ha." He replies with a nervous smile and a jerky nod. "I'm Ejest." "(link:"Oh. Um, the janitor.")[Oh. Um, the janitor." He says recognizing you in some sense, though precisely the way you wish people wouldn't. "(link:"Well...")[Well." You reply perturbed, "Space Engineer Intern, Ohio State, //cum laude//." While you attempt to magnify your prestige and authority in the man's mind, (link:"he pushes on the wall in front of him.")[he pushes on the wall in front of him. The force rotates his body around to face you. At the same time, his hands whip behind his back, making you suspicious about what he's holding in them. "Angus Dant, astrogeophysicist for //Comcast-Exxon Corporation//." --- "(link:"So, what's behind your back Dant?")[(goto:"Dent Back")]" "(link:"Do you happen to, remember...anything, from last night?")[(goto:"Dent Remember")] ]]]]]]

Oh man. Last night hit the galley pretty hard. It looks like a raccon went through it. (set:$seengalley to true)(link: "A Space Raccoon!")[You think about that for minute, considering the life of a racoon stowaway on a transport ship: //He lived a hard life on planet Earth and couldn't take it anymore. Another day, another bastard racoon cub showing up at his garbage can saying: "It's great to finally meet you Dad!" "Jesus, another one." Daddy raccoon says. He rolls his eyes knowing this is just another penniless lying cub in the Big City, or an honest cub who just doesn't get it yet. The world belongs to humans and morality died back when they mastered fire. "Go home kid." He says knowing it won't be enough, but it's worth a try. "But I spent everything I had getting to you," the cub says with big innocent eyes. The kind of eyes that still hadn't seen two 'coons fighting over a McDonald's Big Mac wrapper--one already covered in flies and piss. Daddy raccoon still can't tell if this cub should get an Academy Award or a smack for still being an optimist in this hellhole of a world. There's this glimmer in the cub's eyes. It reminds Daddy raccoon of those twinkling dots he saw the night when every streetlight in the Big City went out. The humans had a way up to those dots in the sky. That's when he knew. He had a reason to do something for once in his life. Something more than eating piss stained wrappers out of cans. He looked up at the darkness above. He couldn't see the twinkling dots of light, but he could feel them. "Daddy?" The cub asked. But the gaunt Daddy racoon was already running away from him as fast as his old scarred and frostbitten paws could take him. "Daddy!" Daddy raccoon stopped only long enough to say, "Check the can little cub. I won't need it anymore.// You shake your head. What did you come in here for again?(set:$spacerac to true)] "The pantry," portion of the galley is just a bunch of food bags stuffed into pouches all along two walls of the module. The rest of the place is storage for potable water, diapers (essential for E.V.A.s or when the toilet breaks), emergency supplies, non-emergency supplies...(link: "Speaking of emergencies.")[thinking about it, there's always an emergency of some kind in space. Everything is either broken or breaking, including your body. Seems to you that the non-emergency supplies should be considered "less-of-an-emergency supplies."] (if:$crewone is false)[Someone else is in the galley too. [[Talk to him]]] --- Go back to the (link:"Docking module")[(goto:"dock two")]

"Oh, uh. Nothing." He stammers. "Let's see it. (link:"I bet")[I bet it's dessert rations, you're not the first one. Now hand 'em over sweet tooth." (link:"Dant protests")["No you don't understand it's personal, it's..." Dant's mouth flutters. He purses his lips, holding back something profound, or perhaps...(link:"vomit?")[ No. Oh thank God, because cleaning that up in zero gravity is awful. Thankfully, surface tension keeps a good amount of it on the person's face, but...(link:"you feel a bit woozy")[best not to think about it while you're hungover. Dant's mouth finally (link:"opens")[opens, then closes, (link:"then")[then opens again accompanied by a rasping sound--the sound people on live TV make when someone asks a question they haven't prepared a lie for. --- 1. "[[Start talking.]]" 2. "[[Actually I don't care, just put it back.]]" 3. "[[Is it something I can help you with?]]" ]]]]]]

"Well let's see." Dant pauses, closing his eyes in deep concentration for a moment. (link:"Then")[Then his eyes open and he says, "I continued my research on Deimos gravity calculations." (link:"Interesting.")["Oh I've done some preliminary research on that too," you add excited. "Deimos is so asymetrical, I've wondered about minimum escape velocity requirements depending on your geographical location." (link:"Dant's face is totally blank")["Mmm," is all he manages. You ask him, "But what about your research?" (link:"Dant changes the subject.")["Last night, I remember grabbing freeze dried ice cream at the party. But I didn't stay." He crinkles his nose and his nostrils flair open like cave mouths. "How can people run a spaceship, party, and find time to sleep anyway?" "Easy," (link:"you respond with a sigh")[you respond with a sigh. "You don't sleep and try to find where the hell all the painkillers went." "Oh." Dant's face goes blank. "Well good luck." (set:$dentrem to true) --- (if:$dentback is false)["(link:"Hey, hold on. I want to know what you've got there.")[(goto:"Dent Back")]" ]] (if:$dentback is true)[(link:"Say goodbye to Dant.")[(goto:"Galley.")]]]]]]

"Oh, thank you. Well then. Good morning." Dant says in that English way that really means, "toodle-pip colonial chap, what what." (link:"Nod back at him.")[ (link:"GROWwwrrrBRRmmmmP!")[Dant turns his head back to look at you, locating the source of the unexpected noise. You vocally confirm, "that was my stomach." (link:"Dant's eyes widen")["I thought it was a something undocking from the ship. Blimey. You need a hearty breakfast, with some caffeine too if last night was such a fracas." You nod, and burp, like an all-American. "Well, I'll be off. Try the Full English breakfast. We brought a few on board with us." (link: "Thank Dant")["See you around Dant." He kicks off the wall, heading for the hatch and probably the Passenger module. (link:"Get going")[You remember the pipes still need flushing. The breakfast you hastily prepare is coffee and a rehydrated Full English that tastes like beef stroganoff served in a leather shoe. (link:"You wolf it down")[Everything wolfed down, you start to feel mildly less shitty. Speaking of which, you really need to poo.(set:$crewone to true)(set:$dentback to true)(set:$dentrela to 2) --- Go back to the (link:"Docking module")[(goto:"dock two")]]]]]]]

"Please don't tell anyone about my...condition. Promise me you won't." "(link:"Sure?")[Sure of course not," you reply in earnest, looking him in the eye. It's the first time in the conversation that Dant actually makes eye contact with you. (link:"He doesn't look like he believes you; at all.")[You make the most sincere promise to Dant that you can muster. "I promise." "Thank you Ejest!" he replies. His whole body visibly relaxes. "Ug," he manages. The thin mask of social composure melts from his face. He appears as he is; a man with severe bowel trouble. (link:"He considers something to himself for a moment")[Then he says, "you know, I can help you with your hangover." (link:"You smile wide.")["Really?" (set: $dentrela to 3) "Here, I found these." Dant shoves the assorted digestive drugs into his passenger flightsuit pockets. (link:"His hands rummage around there for a while.")[ "Blast," he says. "Oh wait." Dant's hands search a few other pockets. (link:"GROWwwrrrBRRmmmmP!")[(goto:"Breakfast") ]]]]]]

"Please," Dant pleades with you. "I think //Exxon-Comcast// would want to know if their employee commited a crime," you threaten. (link:"The vomit look reappears on Dant's face.")["Alright, alright!" he brings his hands around from behind his back. Opening them, the contents float upward. (link:"Look closer")[They are pill packets, several tiny paper envelopes containing a single dose of medication. (link: "Inquire")["Didn't take you for a pill popper." "I'm not! They're just, um, they're completely harmless." He grabs the packets back out of the air. "(link:"They're just charcoal.")[They're just charcoal." "So you didn't take all the painkillers from the med kits?" "No, only the charcoal, and other...digestive aids." "(link:"Ohhhhh")[Got the astronaut's egress huh?" "Ug," is all Dant manages. The thin mask of social composure melts from his face. He appears as he is; a man with severe bowel trouble. --- (link:"I'm just going to forget all this happened.")[(goto:"Actually I don't care, just put it back.")] (link:"Has anyone helped you out with this?")[(goto:"Is it something I can help you with?")]]]]]]

Dant looks around wildly, then focuses his attention on //you//. (link:"Nod at him")["That was my stomach." (link:"His eyes widen")["I thought it was a something undocking from the ship!" Dant says. "Blimey. You need a hearty breakfast, with some caffeine, and, AHA!" He brandishes a pill packet fresh from a breast pocket. Then throws it at you. (link: "The packet glides through the air, much in the way a cinder block on Earth wouldn't.")[There's no need for any deft movement, and sadly no chance for you to show off your mediocre college intramural softball skills. You extend your hand, and the pill packet gracefully enters your awaiting grasp. "(link:"Well,")[I'll be off." Dant tells you. "Try the Full English breakfast. We brought a few on board with us." (link: "Thank Dant")["See you around Angus," you say as he kicks off the wall. He flies through the hatch in the direction of the Passenger module.(set:$dentback to true)(set:$crewone to true)(set:$cure to true) (if:$dentrem is false)[(link:"Stop Dant and ask him about last night")["Oh hey! About last night!" You call after Dant. A moment goes by and he doesn't reappear.]] --- (link: "Time to eat!")[(goto: "make breakfast")]]]]]]

(if: $broken is false)["HI! Eye-muh Fixit Phil hEre lookin at uh T-990 series, Cosmi-Co universul Waste Manugemint system." Phil goes on and on, in his Kentucky twang, about the history of this particular zero G toilet. (link:"Skip ahead.")[Ad banners for Comcast-Exxon Corp bounce all over the video, but mostly you just need to listen to Phil's instructions. "Now on all moduls the LAYout of the control panel er the same, BUT, the machine se-quences they OPer-ate are compltly difrnt. Fur example, yu'll wan uh use the reid buttn to begin the DISinfect on the T-990 E series, but the blue on the H series. Get 'em mixed up and yur air flow'll go out the toilET end, instead uh the Waste Catcher!" (link:"What model does this station have again?")[You're pretty sure that the system on the ship is a V series. You'll need to press a button to start the disinfect sequence, then turn the valve to blow the compressed air through. Something about the (text-color: red)[''red button''] makes you feel the best.]]](if: $broken is true)[The screen is all broken, but maybe tapping where the play button normally is will start the video? That is, assuming the video is still open and you weren't doing something else with it last night. (link: "Tap the screen")["The male's penis can extend twenty centimeter's in just half a second. And while it is 'corkscrew shaped' to better fit the female duck's anatomy, her vagina includes dead ends to make fertilization almost impossible during an unwanted coupling." (link:"OH GOD! MAKE IT STOP!")[You tap the screen furiously trying to make the audio stop.]]] --- (link: "Maybe, do something else first?")[(goto: "Clean out the ship's pipes.")] [[Flush Pipes]]

What do you want to say? --- (link: "HEY! What do you think you're doing in here?")[(goto:"Dent Convo")] (link: "Good morning.")[(goto:"Dent Convo")]

You remember the pipes still need flushing. (link:"Make your breakfast")[The breakfast you hastily prepare is coffee, painkillers, and a rehydrated Full English that tastes like beef stroganoff served in a leather shoe. (link:"Yummy!")[Everything wolfed down, you start to feel mildly less shitty. Speaking of which, you really need to poo. --- Go back to the (link:"Docking module")[(goto:"dock two")]]]

Assuming the airflow is on then...wait is it on? (link: "You're sure it's on.")[ Then LET'S DO THIIIIIIIS! (link: "Twist the diversion valve.")[It's stuck. (if:$belt is false)[What could unstick it? (link: "Look around your bedroom.")[(goto: "Your bedroom.")]](if: $belt is true)[(link: "Time to use your trusted friend, //Archimedes//. That's what your named your wrench.")[ You push and shove. Goddamn that thing is tight. But //Archimedes// hasn't failed you once. (link:"Brace yourself")[You hook your feet through some pipes to keep yourself from spinning around (isn't zero G a bitch?). You try another twist, grinding your teeth with the effort. (link:"//THUNK//")[Finally, the valve turns. Thanks to his sound logic, //Archimedes// wins you another argument. The machine emits a sound that is slightly higher pitched than before. That's a sign you did it right!(set:$pipes to true) --- (if:$pipes is true)[ [[Take a breath]]]]]]]]]

Your finger punches the circular (text-color: blue)[''Blue button''] on the console. Hopefully that does what you want. --- (link:"Next")[(goto:"turn valve")]

Your finger punches the circular (text-color: red)[''Red button''] on the console. --- (link:"Next")[(goto:"turn valve")]

(set:$dead to 2)Why did you press the (text-color: green)[''green button'']!? The last thing you hear is several electric clicks, (link:"before...")[before you are engulfed in hot, burning fire. =><= ''Now you're dead.'' <== (link:"Well what the hell happened!?")[The (text-color: green)[''green button''] activated a secondary fan assembly in the sanitation system, but it was removed years ago, probably to cut down on weight. The wires connecting to the fan however, were not removed, nor were they properly insulated. (link:"So?")[So electricity arced between two live wires, the console caught fire, and then you roasted like a marshmallow. (link:"But it's not all bad")[You have been awarded the achievement: =><= ''&#9734 Most Honourable Member of the Burnt Marshmallow Society &#9734'' --- (link:"See your choices")[(goto:"Choice list")]]]]]

You inhale deeply and feel satisfied at a job well done. (link: "Relax")[But while relaxing briefly, your eyes drift over to the Bioenrichment array. It needs to be cleaned out today at some point. (link: "Get a head start")[Your hand reaches for your tablet and attempts to begin playing //Tiny Farm Builder III//^^ (TM)^^. (link:"Hold up")[You catch yourself doing this suddenly, and realize that there is no work motivation in you right now. Micromanaging tiny pixilized fields and farmhands is what you really want to do. --- (link: "Just then, an alert sound bleeps from your tablet")[(goto:"sewage")]]]]

(link:"Tap the tablet to answer the call")["Sanitation here," you answer. (if: $yell is true)["BUMBLE!" Captain Flobble yells. "We need your help to finish suiting up Jack for his E.V.A. Get down here!](if: $yell is false)["Bindle! Cpt. Flobble yells. "Help us get Jack suited up!"] (link:"Fine")["Be right there." Flobble promptly hangs up on you. (link:"Ponder Flobble's life history")[You wonder if the captain was a sports team coach in a previous life. How do some people just shout all day and never go hoarse? --- (link: "Head to Primary Airlock")[(goto:"travel")]]]]

You mentally remind yourself, not to forget: THE CLEANING SEQUENCE NEEDS TO BE TURNED OFF! You can keep it running for a while, but it only needs a few minutes. (link:"Make a mental note")[Mental note made. (if:$played is 1)[(link:"Click Here to Skip Ahead")[(goto:"suit")]] (link:"With that done, you leave your bedroom.")[It's a long route from Sanitation to the Primary Airlock. Not //as the crow flies,// but through the network of hatches that attach the various station modules. Hm, maybe that idiom doesn't work in space... (link:"Moving along")[You soar into the docking bay. (link:"Stop yourself on the open door")[You twist around to head through the Galley hatch. No need to change direction again--the Primary Airlock is in the Flight module, and that's a straight shot through the Galley. --- [[Flying through the Galley]]]]]]

(link:"Knock knock")[You bang on the hatch three times to notify the Captain and Jack that you're coming in. You glance at the red light to the left of the hatch. It backlights a sign that (link:"reads:")[reads: (text-color:red)[''LOCKED''] (link:"However...")[You know it's not locked. Jack just rewired the light to make passengers think the Flight module is always locked. (link:"Open it up")[You pull the release bar, and swing open the hatch. --- Enter the [[Flight module]]]]]]

The Flight module is undoubtedly the most imporant part of the space station. (link:"Examine the flight module")[(goto:"exflight")] --- Head to the [[Primary Airlock]]

The Primary airlock is a tiny space, even without the space suits, O2 and N2 tanks, battery cells, hoses and cables that occupy every inch of wallspace. (link:"It has two parts")[The biggest, front portion of the airlock is all storage. The minute space beyond it is the actual airlock--consisting of two hatches and just enough room between them for one E.V.A. ready astronaut. (if:$eva is true)[You see the captain helping out a writhing spacesuit.] --- Go back to the [[Flight module]] (if:$eva is true)[ [[Talk to the captain]]]]

Almost all the station's primary and critical systems are operated from this part of the ship. (link:"The first section of the Flight module")[The first, stern section of the Flight module, is actually the crew quarters. There are sleeping bags attached to two walls where the Captain and Chief Engineer sleep. (link:"The second section")[In the second, bow section of the module, are the various controls for steering and propelling //Pecco Station//. Obviously, this is the Captain's primary territory. There's also a few windows used as visual aides for docking with ships. (link:"The airlock")[One wall, on the starboard side, has a small hatch. This leads to the primary airlock for E.V.A.s. While your bedroom is a mess because of well, you, the Flight module is a mess because there are so many ship systems running through it. (link:"As for the mess...")[Despite that, Jack and the Captain keep it very organized--in that "there's a difference between a mess and an organized mess" way. (link:"Like that friend of yours...")[Like that friend of yours who uses the sofa as a bookshelf.] --- (link:"back")[(goto:"Flight module")]]]]]

"(link:"Captain?")[Captain...uh, I'm here." You consider your conversational excellence. "Bindle!" he says with a flushed face. You can tell it's been a struggle getting Jack into the spacesuit--he's put on some mass in the past few months. (link:"The job")["I've got a mission for you," he continues between some heavy panting. You notice dark brown hairs sprouting from his scalp and chin. Normally he's fully clean shaven--head and face. You consider if the long assignment on the station is affecting your own behavior and hygiene. (link:"Not at all")[That's when you feel a sudden pang of nausea from your hangover. (link:"Naaaa")[//Naaaa.// --- "(link:"What's the mission?")[(goto:"mission")]"]]]]

You're excited at the prospect of actually performing an E.V.A. Finally some actual hands-on experience! "Jack needs to get his suit on ASAP for the scheduled maintenance E.V.A." (link:"Mrr-Grrrmph")[You hear a muffled whine coming from the half-occupied white spacesuit behind the captain. The captain turns his head to look back at it. "Shut up Jack! Serves you right! We're busy here!" (link:"hrm-hrmmmph")[There's a mummble of protest from the spacesuit. The captain ignores this, and continues, "You can pick up where I left off here." --- "(link:"So, I'm not doing an E.V.A.?")[(goto:"jack")]"]]

The Captain (link:"sort of, well, he...")[just laughs in your face. "Good one Bumble." "Bindle." You respond. "I'll leave you to it. I'm sure you still remember the drill from training." (link:"Well Uhhhhhh")[You stammer. In response, Captain Flobble just smacks you on the shoulder. He squeezes past you and into the Flight module. (link:"Mm-Frhmmp?!")[Jack makes a sound of surprise. (link:"Get started")["Shut up Jack," you say as you begin forcing the hard suit over his love handles. No wonder the Captain was flushed, you think to yourself. --- (link:"Help Jack suit up")[(goto:"suit")]]]]]

It takes twenty minutes, but you get Jack suited up and ready for the E.V.A. (link:"Like the Marshmallow Man")[Now he reminds you of the Marshmallow Man from //Ghostbusters//, but smaller and with a helmet on. It has something to do with the choice of navy blue for the chest-mounted Display and Control Module, or DCM, on the suit. (link:"As for the suit pressure")[And while Jack was a little mad you couldn't remember a thing about getting the proper pressure reading, with his help it all seems to be working fine. (link:"Something hits your arm")[Jack yells something at you, but you can't hear him because his helmet is on. He taps the side of his visor with his index finger a few times. (link:"Huh?")["OH!" you exclaim. You realize he wants you to put in your com. You think a minute where it is. You know you had it...yesterday. (link:"Check your pockets.")[No luck. There's no com there. (link:"Try something else")[Jack raises his arms up, and you know he's saying, "What the hell man?!" (link:"Shrug")[You respond with a shrug and an embarassed smile. Jack makes a grabbing motion, asking for something from you. --- Offer him your: (link:"Tablet")[(goto:"offtab")] (link:"Maintenance toolbelt")[(goto:"offbelt")] (if:$condoms is true)[(link:"Condoms")[(goto:"offcon")]]]]]]]]]

Jack nabs the tablet you offer him. (link:"Oi!")["Hey! Easy there!" You yell at him. Clearly, the whole suiting up ordeal tried his patience even more than it did yours. He taps the tablet's switch to open it. --- (if:$broken is false)[ [[Jack types]]] (if:$broken is true)[ [[Jack attemps typing]]]]

(set: $dead to 3)(set:$career to 2)Indeed, the tool choice turns out //not// to be for repairing the broken tablet. (link:"It")[It is to beat you senseless with. Archimedes smashes into your forehead before you can react. It's argumentative powers sure hurt, a lot. You feel pain, you feel spurting blood, and then you feel the twinkling of stars and a subtle scent of rusted metal. (link:"And then you live happily...")[And then you live happily in a comma for the rest of your days. (link:"But it's not all bad")[You have been awarded the achievement: =><= ''&#9734 Sleeping Ugly &#9734'' --- (link:"See your choices")[(goto:"Choice list")] ]]]

Jack shakes his head violently left and right. The motion includes his shoulders and upper torso. He almost looks like he's dancing. (link:"Or seizuring?")[No. Jack just doesn't want your toolbelt is all. The violent motion is just a way to communicate through the thick, heavy spacesuit. --- Offer him your: (if:$condoms is true)[(link:"Condoms")[(goto:"offcon")]] (link:"Tablet")[(goto:"offtab")]]

You see Jack squinting at the small foil wrappers in your hands. It's a strain for him--being dressed like the Michelin Man at the moment--but he manages to put his gloved hand out, palm up. (link:"Put the prophylactics in his hand")[Jack grips them. His hand pulls back and you expect him to start reading the instructions on the things. An odd choice at the moment, you wonder, while his oxygen tanks slowly deplete, and he has yet to start the E.V.A. (link:"But then")[But then he hucks them back at you. The condoms bounce off your face, and you instinctively flinch. (link:"Ah, I see now")[No. He definitively did not want the condoms. At least not at this moment, you decide. You grab them out of the air, and place them back in your pockets, just in case. --- Maybe he wants your: (link:"Maintenance toolbelt?")[(goto:"offbelt")] (link:"Tablet?")[(goto:"offtab")]]]]

In moments Jack finishes, handing you the tablet back. (link:"Take the tablet")[Suddenly the tablet speaks to you. "//Alrighty, can you hear me, finally?//" (link:"Respond to the voice")["Uh, yes?" you manage cautiously. Thoughts of the tablet's life history fill your mind. //It's been self-aware this whole time...My God,// you think. //It would know my internet history! The things it's seen...// (link:"It speaks again")["Bindle!" The voice from the tablet says, louder this time. It sounds a bit like Jack. And you glimpsed Jack's lips move at the same time. (link:"The realization")[//Oh.// Jack just used an alternate com system; tuning the tablet to the same channel the headsets use. (link:"Respond to Jack")["Yeah. Can you hear me?" --- [[There's a pause]] ]]]]]

Either Jack didn't notice the massive crack on your tablet's screen, or he figured it's still in working order. Well technically it is working; just barely. (link:"Oh well")[It doesn't take long for him to get frustrated trying. (link:"He puts his gloved hand out")[He puts his gloved hand out. --- [[Give Jack your toolbelt]] [[Shake your head]]]]

You offer the toolbelt to him. In response he does a violent bowing motion. (link:"He must be trying to say yes.")[You watch as he removes Archimedes from the a holster on the toolbelt. --- (link:"A curious tool choice")[(goto:"beating")]]

"Loud and clear," Jack says. It's odd to watch his his mouth move, and then a second later the sound of his voice come from the tablet. (link:"Jack clears his throat")["Time to get out of here," he says upbeat. "I could use some fresh air." He turns himself around and begins squeezing his Marshmallow Man body past the first hatch, and into the tiny airlock. --- [[Help Jack]] [[He can handle himself]]]

You push Jack forward through the first hatch. (link:"Get Jack situated")[You make sure none of the hoses or spacesuit paraphenalia get caught on the hatch. Once Jack is in the recommended airlock ready position--otherwise known as the fetal position--you double check there are no snags. (link:"Jack says something")["Ok, how do I look?" (link:"Reply")["Like a big squashed baby, wearing a backpack." "Good. I'm ready to be reborn: A CHILD OF THE STARS! Plus I need to stretch my back, real bad. --- (link:"Wish Jack good luck")[(goto:"byejack")] (link:"Ask Jack if he knows what happened last night")[(goto:"askjack")]]] ]

You watch Jack struggle to get through the hatch. He wrestles with his backpack as the edge clips the hatch's corner. It's a tight fit. "Don't mind me Bindle. //I'll be fine//!" (link:"Check your nails")[You really could use a thorough manicure. "Doin' great buddy," you tell him with encouragement. Jack manages to fix the snag with a hard tug on his backpack. Then he nestles himself between the inner and outer hatches that make up the airlock unit. (link:"Jack says something")["Ok, how do I look?" "Like a big squashed baby, wearing a backpack." "Good. I'm ready to be reborn: A CHILD OF THE STARS! God I need to stretch my back out. --- (link:"Wish Jack good luck")[(goto:"byejack")] (link:"Ask Jack if he knows what happened last night")[(goto:"askjack")]]]

"Good luck out there." E.V.A.s are dangerous. At least the hard suit eliminates the need to breathe pure O2 for two hours. But it doesn't change the long night trying to sleep through nightmares of being hit by rogue space debris. (link:"Speaking of which")[Seriously, screw //Gravity//. What makes astronauts want to watch that? And //The Martian// too. Space is bad enough without reminders of how bad it is. You know the Captain and Jack forced you to watch them just as some hazing practice. (link:"You float listlessly, until Jack starts waving his arms about fiercely.")[You see his mouth moving, then a second later the tablet speakers spit his words out. "Door Bindle! I can't reach it in this torture pose here." (link:"Hop to it")[You spring forward; more a flying leap really, without all that gravity shit holding you back. --- [[Close the airlock hatch]]]]]

"Hey!" you catch Jack's attention. "Do you, uh, remember anything from last night?" (link:"Jack blinks at you")[It takes a moment for him to speak. "You do know I'm stuck in this torture pose until you close the hatch, don't you?" (link:"Exactly")["Well that's the whole idea. No one will fill me in." (link:"He laughs")["Man what you pulled last night Bumble..." (link:"WHAT!?")["What was it!?" you say in desperation. "What happened? What did I do?" (link:"Jack shakes his head")["How's your head?" Jack's mouth scrunches up in a face of reminiscence. "I recall you saying 'Hey everyone watch this!' You did a pretty great upside down break dance routine, culminating in hitting the back of your head on the bulkhead." (link:"Rub your head")[Your hand lightly touches the back of your head. Yes. That's a bump there. "That's why this hurts so bad then." (link:"Jack talks again")["Yeah. Shocking. Now close the door Bindle!" (set:$jacknight to true) --- [[Close the airlock hatch]]]]]]]]]

(link:"Pull the latch and lock the door")[There's a //thump// and the hatch seals Jack in the airlock. "(link:"Captain,")[Captain," Jack says on the crew channel, "I'm all set. Ready for E.V.A. Cycling the airlock on your command." (link:"The Captain chimes in.")[ "Confirm. You are GO to cycle airlock." At that moment you think of the weird underwear in your bedroom. (link:"Ask Jack about it")["Hey Jack. Besides dancing, last night was there any, I dunno, physical stuff going on between people?" (link:"There's a long, LOOOOONG pause")["You and Tibschlitz my dear intern. You forget about that? "What? Yes! When did we do it?" "(link:"After")[After everyone left. I only know because you forgot to turn your mic off again." "Ohhhh God," you (link:"say")[say in utter embarassment. "Oh damn." "Yup. Classic Bumble."]]]] --- [["Bindle I need you, now"]] ]]]

(link:"It's the Captain again.")["What?" you say, dreading any word about what Jack just told you. "(link:"Just...")[Just get down to the passenger quarters." --- (link:"No //YOU// get down to the passenger quarters!")[(goto:"sass")] (link:"On my way.")[(goto:"gotopass")] (link:"I will, if you tell me why first.")[(goto:"tell")]]]

"What? That doesn't even make sense." "(link:"Exactly!")[That's because you never appreciate what I do for you. Solve your own problems Flumble!" You didn't really expect to react so strongly, but you really can't handle this man anymore. (if:$yell is false)[(link:"You hear the captain sigh through the tablet speakers.")["Bindle will you please get down here? I need your help here, honestly."]](if:$yell is true)[(link:"The hear the captain make several, furious stammering noises.")["BUMBLE I've had it with you!" The words are hardly intelligible. "What the hell is wrong with you today? Get down here now!"]] --- (if:$yell is false)["(link:"Fine")[(goto:"gotopass")]] "(link:"I need an explanation first!")[(goto:"tell")] (if:$yell is true)["(link:"You'll have to drag me down there Fascist!")[(goto:"approach")]]]

You grasp a handle on the wall, and propel yourself out of the Flight module. (link:"Stop yourself in the Galley")[Next you turn to your right. A shove off the ceiling, and you're through a hatch, into what is the other half of the Sanitation module. --- [[The head]]]

"It's--" the Captain pauses. That pause worries you deeply. It's not (link:"like him")[like him. "I can't say over the coms. We just got some orders in from the bosses. Meet me down here. I'll explain everything." --- (link:"Fine")[(goto:"gotopass")]]

"Alright. I'm coming up there to beat some sense into your insubordinate ass!" (link:"Nohtin' like a little anarchy")["Oh yes," you say to yourself. "Flobble has cracked." It's been your practice for most of your life to crack people. We all act so kind and dandy to one another at first. Deep down we're still children, yearning to see what happens when we crush each others' toys. (link:"Flobble")[Flobble is a man alright. A man who thinks he's in charge. Those are the best people to crack. If he really tries anything when he gets up here, his command will end. --- [[You wait for him]]]]

Captain Flobble enters the hatch to the Flight module. You think to yourself, //I should have locked that.// (link:"No running anymore.")["Apprentice Engineer!" The captain bellows. He glides into the module, like a flying supervillain. "You will be discharged if you don't follow my direct--" (link:"Cut him off")["Save it Mussolini! You're giving me a glowing reccommendation so I can transfer off this shitheap!" (link:"A vein in Flobble's forehead throbs and his face gets even redder")["Like hell! You will perform your duties!" --- "(link:"I'm taking over command effective as soon as I kill you!")[(goto:"fight")]]]]

You hear Pokemon fight music begin in the back of your mind (//Pokemon Red// to be specific). --- (link:"Launch yourself at the captain")[(goto:"attack")]

The Captain is startled at your leap of faith. (link:"That makes you glad")[//If I were captain//, you think to yourself, //I would be ready for anything. Especially spotaneous acts of mutiny.// He braces himself for the impact of your body against his. (link:"Brace yourself too")[You smack into Flobble. Arms and legs whip wildly around. Fighting in space is very hard, it turns out. (link:"It reminds you of hockey")[Like when hockey players slug it out on the ice-- their blows bouncing off thick pads and their protective gear flying off in all direction. --- [[Throw a punch]] [[Try and pin him]]]]]

The Head is a storage space, the access to the Passenger quarters, and the home of your least favorite machine: [[the WCS]]. (link:"It's layout")[This space is similar to your bedroom, because your bedroom and the Head are really the same module divided by a false wall. There are two hatches, one to the Galley, and the other to the Passenger quarters. The WCS takes up part of one wall. The three remaining walls are all covered with wall pouches storing hundreds of kilograms of various supplies.] --- Fly to the [[Passenger Quarters]]

Just as you get close to the hatch, you watch its light blink from (text-color:red)[red] to (text-color:green)[green]. (link:"Then")[Then it flickers, because the bulb needs replacing. --- (link:"The hatch opens")[(goto:"lowdown")]]

You break your hand free and aim a knuckle sandwich right at his bald head. (link:"Something glints")[Something in the captain's hand catches your eye. (link:"A...")[Captain Flobble deflects your punch with his arm. And you see in his other hand is a gun shaped object. He points it at your chest. (link:"Tricky")[You realize the captain might have been smarter than you gave him credit. There's a sharp pain on your left breast. --- [[Toasty]] ]]]

You jerk one hand out of the captain's grasp. (link:"Grab his neck")[Your free hand wraps around Flobble's neck, choking him. (link:"Something glints")[Something in the captain's hand catches your eye. (link:"A...")[You see in his hand is now a gun shaped object. He's twisting it around to aim at your side. (link:"Bat it away")[Too late, your disarm fails and there's a sharp pain in your side. --- [[Toasty]]]]]]

"Bindle there you are." The Captain says. (link:"He wastes no time.")["Listen. One of the passengers got flagged by //Madoff-Monsanto// security. We need to investigate and pick out who it is before we're allowed any dockings or transfers." Flobble looks back at the passengers inside their quarters. (link:"He looks back at you, his brow furrowed")["I can't figure out who it is. It could even be more than one." "//Great, thanks//," you think to yourself. There's a weight in your stomach now. You're stint on Pecco Station just got even longer. --- "[[What's the flag?]]" "[[What do you want me to do?]]"]]

"I don't know exactly. The message said to be on high alert. One of the passengers poses a risk to corporate assets." You raise an eyebrow. "(link:"A risk to assets?")[A risk to assets?" You ask. "The highest possible threat on the company's (text-color: red)[''Safe Environment Control Scale''] ^^TM^^." "(link:"Not like...")[Not like a threat to us? Our wellbeing?" (link:"The captain shakes his head.")["No, that's (text-color: red)[SECS] level, like, seven or something." There's a moment of awkward silence wherein you both fail to not think about the shortcomings of working for a corporation that ranks threats to employee safety at level, "like, seven" on (text-color: red)[SECS]. (link:"Flobble clears his throat.")["Brrr-Hrmm." He musters. "In other (text-color: red)[SECS] level 1 cases, they've been corporate spies. "(link:"Or even...")[Or even," Flobble says in a whisper. "Activists." (link:"You shudder.")["Jesus." The captain nods. "I know." --- "[[What do you want me to do?]]"]]]]]]

"We have to outhink them." He says, his eyes narrowing. "Go in there and make them think you're on their side. ''As the Captain''," he says with immeasurable pomposity, "they won't tell me anything." --- "[[What have you tried so far?]]" "[[I got this!]]"

"Well I came straight with them." (link:"The captain pauses a moment")["I told them we're all going to die." --- "(link:"What the fuck is wrong with you!?")[(goto:"badcall")]" "(link:"A wise move captain")[(goto:"suckup")]"]

(set: $mafia to (random: 1,3))You fly straight through the open hatch. It's very white in the Passenger quarters, and much cleaner than anywhere else in the station. The three passengers are crowding the opening, preventing you from going very far into the module. (link:"And then")[The passengers inside assail you with a barrage of questions that slur together into complete gibberish. --- [[The crew]] [[Go back to the head]]]

(if: $yell is true)["None of your shit talking Bumble. Get in there and do what I said."](if: $yell is false)["You may question my methods Bindle, but I can tell you from experience, this is the best way. It's in the //Madoff-Monsanto LLC// handbook. I'll let you take a peek at it sometime. The wiseman's Bible." (link:"He turns his head")[Flobble looks back at the hatch to the galley. "I'll be at the helm. Get to it."]] --- (link:"Open the hatch to the Passenger Module")[(goto:"I got this!")]

"I'm just following the handbook," Flobble says with a nod that is far too deferential. "(link:"The handbook?")[The handbook?" you ask. "The //Madoff-Monsanto LLC Handbook to Captaining//. The wiseman's Bible to...captainy stuff." --- (link:"Open the hatch to the Passenger Module")[(goto:"I got this!")]]

There's a "THUNK" as the hatch slams behind you. (link:"Look through the window")[You catch a glimpse of the back of the Captain's head. He has locked you in with these people. //Wonderful.// --- [[The crew]] ]

"SILENCE!" you yell, outstretching your arms like a wizard commanding an army with forbidden magics. (link:"Quiet settles")[Dr. Tibshlitz immeditely commands, "Oh stop Ejest. You're just an intern. Now tell us what the hell is going on." You were hoping she would have kinder words for you, seeing as you two last night...did, well something you're still not clear about. (if: $dentrela is 3)[Dant chimes in. "Yes Ejest, do tell so we can help with whatever the problem is."] --- [[Come clean with the threat]] ]

(set:$alt to 3)"Ok, I'm going to tell you what the Captain told me." Ozra Skutter, the brunette in charge of some financial assessment team for //Comcast-Exxon//, (link:"speaks up")[speaks up. "Is it a fracture on the hull?" she's practically shaking in worry. "Jack is out repairing it isn't he?" "Well." (link:"You begin")[You scratch your head. "The Captain is a little high strung because //Madoff-Monsanto// called in a SECS threat." "What on Earth is that?" Dant asks. "Uh, it sounds like (link:"one of you is")[one of you is a spy, or an...activist." --- [[Outrage]]]]]

"An activist on board?!" Dant says in panic. "(link:"Oh stop")[Oh stop." Tibschlitz tells him. She turns to you. "Your idiotic Captain just told us the ship might blow up. What is wrong with that man?" "Um." (link:"Best to change the subject.")["We need to figure out the threat here." Skutter butts in. "And do you have a plan for that Bindle?" --- "[[Psh Duh]]" "[[Uh no]]"]]

Your mind races with a possibility. (link:"Mafia")[When deciding between innocent and guilty parties, you remember the long days of Summer camp in Wisconsin. Everyone there became addicted to the "Mafia" game. (link:"The rules")[A group of people is randomly split into the mafia members and the innocent public--for instance, by handing out playing cards. During the "Day," everyone tries to find the mafia members through discussion. If there's any certainty, or bloodlust in the air, a suspect is killed (leaving him or her to sit the game out). (link:"The rounds")[Every round ends with closed eyes or heads down--signaling "Night." This is the time when the mafia choose a target to kill. (link:"To win")[Rounds go on until the mafia outnumber the public, or the public eliminate the mafia. (link:"Game theory")[In college, you studied Game theory, in order to fulfill your Philosophy/Ethics requirement. You remember the most fun you've ever had researching and writing a paper, was your "Game Theory and Mafia" essay for that course. --- [[The Idea]] ]]]]]

"Ok then." Skutter rolls her eyes. (link:"Aquiesce")["We just need to make the Captain happy." You say with a sigh. "Trust me, I've worked with him for months." (link:"Tibschlitz")[Tibschlitz jumps in. "Well we all work for a Corp. We all passed background checks, and strip searches. We have top credit scores. If a person is hiding something, is any of us really going to find it out?" her tone is harsh, but it rings true. (link:"She adds")[ "Does anyone on this station have experience as a detective or something?" Her tone is half joking, half desperate. (link:"Of course")[And then you have an idea. --- (link:"That's it")[(goto:"Psh Duh")]]]]]

"Ok everyone. We need to write stuff down," you tell the passengers. (link:"Shuffle")[The four of you shuffle for pencils and paper. After a few seconds you notice Dant's face pucker. He speaks up. "Just what exactly is the point of this?" Everyone else turns to face him. Then there's a confused exchange of looks. (link:"You recognize it well")[It's the moment when a group of people question their groupthink. The moment that precedes either embrace or rebellion. The sort of thing every family does when "Monopoly" gets pulled out of the closet and Mom says, "Don't you remember what happened last time we played this?" (link:"You respond")["The captain isn't going to let anyone out of this module until we give him something. So either we do this, or no one gets to eat." "Or use the toilet," Skutter says in a growl. It's true. Why didn't you use it before coming in here?! Shit. --- [[Run the game]]]]]

"Now everyone write down who you think the traitor is." Tibschlitz shakes her head. You know traitor is a strong word, but you couldn't think of an alternative. Betrayer? That sounds even worse. (link:"Dant raises his hand")["Yes?" you say to him. "I don't have a pencil," he says with a sheepish exression. (link:" Like?")[Like a sheep. (link:"Although")[Not that sheep really have that expression, if you've ever looked at one. (link:"Indeed")[Bloody sheep. "You can borrow mine." (link:"Now")[Now, you need to write down a name. --- Write down: (link:"Angus Dant")[(goto:"writone")] (link:"Ozra Skutter")[(goto:"writtwo")] (link:"Melinda Tibschlitz")[(goto:"writthree")]]]]]]

"Papers in people." "But my pencil," Dant cries. (link:"Hand him yours")[You hand Dant your pencil. He scribbles something. (link:"Collect the papers")[You turn them over, but before you can read any, Skutter interjects. "I strongly protest this solution. I think it's unprofessional, and practically criminal." (link:"Tibschlitz responds")["It's something. And it just gets the Captain satisfied. All we can do is go along with it. We can press charges when we get off this bucket." (if:$dentrela is 3)["Well," says Dant, "I think it's a splendid solution to an emergency that Bindle here has come up with."] --- (link:"Read the papers")[(goto:"readone")]]]]

The first says, "Angus Dant" in your handwriting. (link:"Read the second")[It says, "Tib"] (link:"Read the third")["Skutter"] (link:"Read the last one")["Captain Flobble" --- "[[What?]]"]

The first slip of paper reads, "Ozra Skutter" in your handwriting. (link:"Read the second paper")[It says, "Tib"] (link:"Read the third")["Dant"] (link:"Read the last one")["Captain Flobble" --- "[[What?]]"]

The first says, "Melinda Tibschlitz" in your handwriting. (link:"Read the second")[It says, "Dant"] (link:"Read the third")["Skutter"] (link:"Read the last one")["Captain Flobble" --- "[[What?]]"]

You glare at them. "Who wrote down the Captain?" (link:"Silence echoes")["Great." You say rolling your eyes. "We'll just do it again I guess." "He's as much a suspect as any of us," Tibschlitz says. "(link:"Of course you would say that!")[Of course you would say that!" yells Skutter. (link:"You cut in")["OK! Let me just tell Flobble something so this is all over with." (link:"Time to lie")[Really, you have no plan. "I'll just give him these papers and explain it all to him." The three of them look at you sternly. --- [[Call Captain Flobble]]]]]]

(if:$mafia is 1)[Dant](if:$mafia is 2)[Skutter](if:$mafia is 3)[Tibschlitz]

You pick a quiet corner of the module. Setting the volume on the (if:$broken is true)[broken] tablet to low, you push a button to talk on the crew channel. (link:"It rings")["What's the scoop Bindle?" He answers. --- "(link:"I've got someone, but I can't tell you here. Unlock the hatch for me.")[(goto:"exitpass")]"]

"Great work. Get up here." (if:$played is 1)[(link:"Click Here to Skip Ahead")[(goto:"Then the ship explodes")]] (link:"Talk to the passengers")["Ok. Let me go take care of this people. I'm really sorry but we'll get through this." (link:"Skutter looks at you desperately")[Skutter looks at you desperately. "Just let me pee." (link:"Head out")[And with //that//, you push off the wall. At the hatch, the light turns green. (link:"Open it")[ --- [[In the head]]]]]]

The Head is a storage space, the access to the passenger quarters, and the home of your least favorite machine: the "WCS". --- [[Go to the Flight module]]

You maneuver your way to the Galley, hearing Ozra "hit the head" behind you. (link:"The Galley")[In the Galley, you turn left and the Flight module hatch is closed. (link:"Knock knock")[You bang on the hatch three times to notify the Captain that you're coming in. (link:"Open up")[You pull the release bar, and swing open the hatch; despite the red light on the door. --- [[The captain greets you inside]]]]]

"Find out anything?" he asks you. (link:"Hand him the papers")[The Captain squints, reading the names on the papers. You watch his eyebrows furrow; (link:"furrowfully")[//furrowfully//. "What the hell are these?" (Link:"Tell him")["The passengers wrote down the most likely culprit. I made sure it was all done anonymously." (link:"He reads the names again")[The phrase "what the hell," escapes his mouth a second time--possibly when he read his own name you figure. He finishes saying, "(link:"Well if this isn't the biggest waste of time--")[Well if this isn't the biggest waste of time--" --- [[Then the ship explodes]]]]]]]

One of these buttons begins the (link:"disinfect process")[disinfect process. Which one was it? --- Press the (link:"Blue button.")[(goto:"blue button")] Oh wait, it's the (link:"(text-color: red)[Red button]")[(goto:"red button")] No, the (link:"(text-color: green)[Green button.]")[(goto:"green button")]]

(link:"The explosion")[Without warning, there's a sound like a shotgun blast. It feels like its rupturing your eardrums, and you can feel the concussion reverberate first in the walls of the station, then in your own chest. (link:"Alarms sound")[Multiple alarms sound from the speakers in the ship. They echo in unison, then start falling into disharmony over time. You're sure they all need replacing. --- [[Look to the captain]] ]]

Your eyes lock with the Captain's. Neither of you know what's going on. You figured he would, you know, be ready with some command or something. (link:"But...")[But the look on his face is pure horror. (link:"You think")[You think to yourself, //nothing in the handbook about this apparently//. "They've made their move." There's fear in Flobble's voice. "One of the passengers--the flag." You watch his expression change. "We have to seal off the Flight module." --- "(link:"We don't know that")[(goto:"dont")]" "(link:"What about Jack?")[(goto:"whatabout")]"]]

Status: (if:$dead is 1)[''Alive''](if:$dead is 2)[''DEAD''](if:$dead is 3)[''Barely Alive, OW, ow.''] Career: (if:$career is 1)[''In Good Standing''] (if:$career is 2)[''Fired. Kiss It Goodbye''] Relationship with Captain Flobble: (if:$yell is true)[''Poor''](if:$yell is false)[''Good''] Relationship with Angus Dant: (if:$dentrela is 1)[''Unsure''](if:$dentrela is 3)[''Great''](if:$dentrela is 2)[''Poor''] Suspicious person: (if:$mafia is 1)[''Angus Dant''](if:$mafia is 2)[''Ozra Skutter''](if:$mafia is 3)[''Melinda Tibschlitz''] Villain thwarted? : (if:$thwarted is 2)[''VICTORY!''](if:$thwarted is 3)[''Nope''](if:$thwarted is 4)[''It's Complicated''] Tablet: (if:$broken is true)[''Busted, Oops''](if:$broken is false)[''Working fine''] Space racoon: (if:$spacerac is true)[''He's out there somewhere''](if:$spacerac is false)[''Space What?''] Mariachi fan: (if:$mariachi is true)[''¡Sí!''](if:$mariachi is false)[''¿Qué?''] --- //For fun, try making different choices next time. Refresh the webpage or click here: * [[START]] //

"Uh, you're right." He says. (link:"Pressure loss")["WARNING. SEVERE PRESSURE LOSS DETECTED. WARNING." Your tablet chimes over and over. (Link:"A solution")[You make a decision. "Alright, you try and connect with Jack then. I'll find the leak." (link:"The Captain")[Flobble nods at you. "OK," is all he manages. "WARNING..." --- (if:$broken is true)[ [[Find the alarm]]](if:$broken is false)[ [[Locate the alarm]]] ]]]

"Oh, right," he says. The captain fumbles with his headset. Finally he speaks into it. "JACK! Can you hear me? What's your status?" (link:"Then")[You hear no response. Flobble shakes his head and then starts rubbing his scalp with one hand, over and over again. (link:"Pressure loss")["WARNING. SEVERE PRESSURE LOSS DETECTED. WARNING." Your tablet chimes over and over. "I'll figure out what's going on with the--" you gesture at your tablet. "You get Jack." "WARNING..." --- (if:$broken is true)[ [[Find the alarm]]](if:$broken is false)[ [[Locate the alarm]]] ]]

You examine your tablet and dismiss the audio. A red light on it still blinks--no way to dismiss that. (link:"Ship status")[You open a ship status menu. There are systems out all over the place--blinking various colored levels of (text-color: #ff6600)[''Serious''], (text-color: red)[''Critical''], and ''Offline''. (link:"Visual")[There is a handy app that overlays the ship system statuses onto a station map. (LINK:"Open the app")[ The map appears. The first thing you notice is a module glowing (text-color: red)[red]: (link:"it's...")[it's the Head. --- [[Head for the Head]]]]]]

(link:"You're at the hatch to the Galley when you hear a voice behind you.")["Bindle!" (link:"Turn around")[The captain has something in his hand. He throws it. Drifting your way is some black object. (link:"Catch it")[(link:"You miss.")[It hits you square in the face. "Careful." Flobble adds; annoyingly. (link:"Grab the object")[Holding your bruised nose with one hand, you seize the face hurt contraption with the other. It's actually a black silk bag. (link:"Open the bag")[(goto:"stun")] --- (link:"Get to the head")[(goto:"to head")]]]]]]

(set:$career to 2)Your muscles spasm uncontrollably and your body stiffens into a plank of wood. All you can manage is a wail of agony, which is rather high pitched for a male adult. You didn't realize you could hit that high of an octave. (link:"So it goes")[Well that ended your career right quick. You get an immediate termination. Your residence becomes the Passenger Quarters. At the next Hohmann Transfer, you're headed back to Earth--paying for it on your own dime. (link:"But hey")[But hey, you get this swell achievement: =><= ''&#9734 Zero G Wrestler, a regular Bexley &#9734'' --- (link:"See your choices")[(goto:"Choice list")] ]]

You untie the drawstring and open the silk bag. (link:"Inside")[It's a stun gun (link:"and it's...")[and it's (text-color:"#ff80c0")[''hot pink''] colored. (link:"Give the captain a sidelong glance")["They were out of black, okay!" he says exasperated. The stun gun has two metal prongs on one end. The other end has a textured rubber grip ((text-color:"#ff80c0")[''also pink'']) and there's a sticker on it. (link:"Read the sticker")["55,000,000 VOLTS. Includes LED Flashlight built-in!"] (link:"Thank him")["Thanks Captain." But Flobble has turned around, and is operating a control panel. --- (link:"Get to the head")[(goto:"to head")]]]]]

You're out the Flight module and into the Galley. (link:"Turn right")[Ahead is the hatch to the Head, problem is, the lights inside the Head are out. --- (link:"Use a light")[You can use your new (text-color:"#ff80c0")[''pink stun gun''], or the flashlight on your maintenance toolbelt. (link:"Use the pink stun gun")[(goto:"choose stun")] (link:"Use the flashlight on your belt")[(goto: "choose light")]]]

(set:$light to 3)You remove the (text-color:"#ff80c0")[''pink stun gun''] from it's luxurious silken bag. (link:"Fly into the Head")[With the gun extended in front of you, you click the light on. The module looks just like you left it; except for being, you know, dark and all. (link:"Look right")[The hatch to the Passenger quarters is closed. (if:$broken is true)["¡ARRIBA LAS CHIVAS!" the mariachi singer yells. It scares the bejesus out of you. Apparently the song is still not over. You try to keep it together.] (link:"Look left")[The door to the WCS is closed. There's a weird sucking noise coming from inside. --- [[Approach the WCS door]]]]]

(set:$light to 2)You unlatch the carabiner holding your flashlight on your toolbelt. (link:"Fly into the Head")[You brandish the torch, I mean flashlight, in front of you. In the dim, creepy light the module looks just like you left it; except for being, you know, dark and all. (link:"Look right")[The hatch to the Passenger quarters is closed. (if:$broken is true)["¡ARRIBA LAS CHIVAS!" the mariachi singer yells. It scares the bejesus out of you. Apparently the song is still not over. You try to keep it together.] (link:"Look left")[The door to the WCS is closed. There's a weird sucking noise coming from inside. --- [[Approach the WCS door]]]]]

The hiss is a bit louder, now that you're closer to the WCS. (link:"Investigate the noise")[You reach out a hand and feel the seam of the door. (link:"There")[Down on the bottom is where the hiss is coming from. Your finger feels a rush of air at that spot. --- [[Open the WCS door]]]]

You struggle with the door. (link:" Put your back into it")[ You rip the thin, delicate door open. The handle breaks off in the process. (link:"Aim your light inside")[ (link:"There's a body inside.")["HUUUHHH!" escapes your mouth in panic. It's Ozra's body inside. (link:"Should someone call...?")[You know exactly what to do. First, stop thinking about "who to call" puns. Second, get Ozra out of there. (link:"Get her out")[You grip Ozra's shoulders and pull her back into the module. --- [[Call someone]]]]]]]

"SOMEBODY HELP!" (link:"Check on Ozra")[She's still breathing. She smells awful, and your hands are now covered in whatever is on her. (link:"Your light flashes.")[In the struggle, you lost hold of the (if:$light is 2)[flashlight](if:$light is 3)[stun gun]. The light shines in your eyes a moment, then it points somewhere else as it rotates in midair.] (link:"Call someone")[You use your tablet to call the Captain, or Jack, or anyone. (link:"But before you can speak")[You hear a hinge creak. --- [[The hatch]]]]]

You watch as the hatch to the Galley slams shut. (link:"Because")[The hatches on the station are pressure sensitive, automatically shutting in case of a significant pressure difference between two attached modules.] (link:"Tell everyone what's happening")["Hey." You say to your tablet. "Uh, I'm sealed in here I think. I need the doors opened." You hope the Captain is listening. (link:"There's a voice")["We have to seal that leak first," the Captain says. You can feel yourself breaking out in a cold sweat. "Do you know where it is?" the captain asks, all too calmly. "Can you see it Bindle?" --- "(link:"What the hell is wrong with you!")[(goto:"headno")]" "(link:"Ozra needs help right now!")[(goto:"headyes")]"]]

"Look," (link:"the captain says with a sugarcoating of intensity.")[he continues, "I understand it's you and Ozra in there, but there are more people on the station, Bindle." He clears his throat. (link:"Another voice")["Bumble, you got a visual on that leak?" it's Jack. Thank God he's alive. (link:"Tell him")[You tell Jack where the leak probably is (link:"but there's a problem.")[. "Roger that." Jack says. "I'm heading that way to plug it from the outside. You'll need to work on the inside part buddy--" Just then, a latch on the passenger hatch clicks. (link:"The station speakers crackle to life")["DO NOT, open any hatches anybody. We've got low pressure in the Head, and everyone needs to stay right where they are." (link:"The hatch")[The hatch clicks again, a sign whoever is trying to open it isn't put off by the captain. (link:"The speakers ring out")["DAMNIT BINDLE STOP THEM!" --- (if:$mafia is 1)[(link:"Fly to the hatch")[(goto:"Danend")]] (if:$mafia is 2)[(link:"Fly to the hatch")[(goto:"Ozend")]] (if:$mafia is 3)[(link:"Fly to the hatch")[(goto:"Tibend")]]]]]]]]]

You reach the hatch just as it opens. The shadow of a figure is framed in the lit doorway. (link:"Oh no")[A horrible sensation comes over you, like suddenly realizing you are in the bad part of town with an empty gas tank. (link:"This person might have planned everything that just happened.")[ --- [[Grab your stun gun]]]]

You reach the hatch just as it opens. Two shadows are framed in the lit doorway. (link:"Oh no")[A horrible sensation comes over you, like suddenly realizing you are in the bad part of town. (link:"This person might have planned everything that just happened.")[ --- [[Grab your stun gun]]]]

You reach the hatch just as it opens. The shadow of a single figure is framed in the lit doorway. (link:"Oh no")[A horrible sensation comes over you, like suddenly realizing you are in the bad part of town with an empty gas tank. (link:"This person might have planned everything that just happened.")[This person might have planned everything that just happened. --- [[Grab your stun gun]]]]

"Um. Uh." (link:"You stammer")[You stammer. "So, did you hear everything just now?" "(link:"Oh, what happened?")[Oh, what happened Ejest?" Dant says in a tone that sounds cold, and artificial. You place your hand in your pocket with the stun gun. --- (link:"Where's Tibschlitz?")[(goto:"askhim")] (link:"Help me out, Ozra's hurt!")[(goto:"helpoz")]]]

You don't hesitate, (link:"except")[except that thinking about not hesitating actually does make you hesitate. (link:"Then")[After about a second (if: $light is 2)[you whip out your stun gun from the Captain. Is there a safety on this thing? You make up your mind to just point the metal ends at the passenger hatchway.] (if:$light is 3)[you attempt to flip around, and desperately maneuver to your stun gun. Your hand seizes the rotating electroshock device--the //delux// model, complete with equipped LED light.] --- (if:$mafia is 1)[ [[Say something]]] (if:$mafia is 2)[ [[Say something. Anything]]] (if:$mafia is 3)[ [[Say something quick]]] ]]

"Um. Hey there." (link:"You blubber.")[You blubber. "So how 'bout them Seahawks? (link:"There is an awkward silence")[Tibschlitz breaks the tension. "What the hell is happening Ejest?" Then Dant squeals, "My God, Ozra!" The two of the them slip by you to help her back into the Passenger module. (link:"Tibschlitz groans")["She's all wet and smells terrible." Dant examines her head. "She has a head wound here." In the light of the Passenger module, you see the blood in her hair. (link:"Ask a question")["I thought she passed out from the loss of oxygen?" you ask. You didn't notice Ozra was bleeding. "I'm not sure," Dant responds. --- [[Close the open hatch]]]]]]

"Um. Hey." (link:"You say to the figure in the hatchway")[You add, "funny, this reminds me of a movie I once saw. "(link:"Oh?")[Oh?" she asks coldly. You recognize Melinda Tibschlitz's voice. You put the stun gun into your pocket. --- "(link:"Help me out, Ozra's hurt!")[(goto:"helpozra")]"]]

With everyone safe inside the Passenger module, Tibschlitz turns her attention to you. "The captain yelled about the doors?" (link:"Turn back to her")[You blink from the bright lights and tell her, "Hull breach in the WCS, right while Ozra was..." Tibschlitz frowns wrinkling her nose. (link:"Explain")["Jack is patching the hull of the Head right now. It should be safe enough to enter soon." "Well, good thing we have a stock of poop bags," she adds. "Right, you two," Dant says with some authority. "Help me stabalize her." --- [[Stabalize Ozra]]]]

The three of you spend the next hour patching Ozra's head wound, washing her off, and reclothing her in a clean flightsuit. You inform the captain of everything as the three of you work. (link:"Your tablet chimes")[Jack's voice carriers through the tablet speakers with a slight echo from his spacesuit mic. "The patch is on and set. Just like a repairin' drywall. Anyone have some exterior paint?" "Fresh out," you hear Flobble reply. (link:"Say something funny")["Oh just go for the gold spray paint, that, I uh." You realize you don't have anything funny to say. "Poop," is all you manage. "Just turn that mic off there son," the Captain says. (link:"Suddenly Ozra is awake and coughing")[Mel, Angus, and you are immeditaely at her side. --- [[Ozra speaks]]]]]

"What happened?" She says in a whisper. (link:"...")["Ejest found you," Dant replies. The three of them look at you. --- (link:"I found you unconscious in the WCS.")[(goto:"plain")] (link:"What did you eat? It put a hole in the ship!")[(goto:"funny")] ]

Ozra blinks a few times. "I'm so hungry, and my head," she says in confusion. "Mel, can you get me some food?" "Sure." Tibschlitz flies to the hatch. "And maybe..." (link:"Ozra looks at Dant.")[she asks. "You can find me any migraine meds?" She asks him. Tibschlitz opens the hatch and is out of the Passenger module. Dant watches her go, torn between leaving Ozra but doing what he can to help a patient. (link:"Finally, he decides.")[Dant replies with care deep care in his voice, "of course love." "Maybe--" You begin, but Ozra seizes your hand. "Hurry Angus," she pleads. --- (link:"Angus darts out")[(goto:"Arthur darts out")]]]

"Ejest!" Tibschlitz snaps. You shrug. (link:"Ozra blinks a few times")[Perhaps she is torn between what happened but also the fact that you saw her rather, compromised. "I'm so hungry, and my head," she says. "Mel, can you get me some food?" "Sure." Tibschlitz flies to the hatch. "And maybe..." (link:"Ozra looks at Dant.")[she says. "You can find me any migraine meds?" Tibschlitz opens the hatch and is out of the passenger module. Dant watches her go, torn between leaving Ozra but doing what he can to help his patient. (link:"Finally, he decides.")["Of course my dear." "Maybe--" You begin, but Ozra seizes your hand. "Hurry Arthur," she spits. --- [[Arthur darts out]]]]]

You watch Ozra, her eyes following Dant as he disappears into the darkness of the Head. (link:"Unease")[There is complete unease in the silence. Ozra's grip on your wrist is surprisingly strong. (link:"Slowly")[Slowly, she (link:"turns")[turns her head (link:"until")[until she locks her eyes (link:"on")[on yours. "How did you know?" she hisses. --- "[[I had it all figured]]" "[[Uh what?]]"]]]]]

"I don't believe you, //Ejest//. If that's who your really are." (link:"Nod")["I knew //it// would...happen. No doubt in my mind." "Overpressurizing the pipes all morning so they blew when I used the WCS." "(link:"Yes.")[Yes. //That//." "Look." She glances sideways at the open hatch. "My contract is to disable this rig. Help me out, and I can cut you in on the money." --- "[[Hell No!]]" "[[Let's do this]]"]]

"I don't believe you, //Ejest//. If that's who your really are." "(link:"No, seriously.")[What are you talking about right now?" "Overpressurizing the toilet pipes all morning, so that it would blow when I used the WCS." (link:"?")["Huh." "Look." She glances sideways at the open hatch. "My contract is to disable this rig. Help me out, and I can cut you in on the money." --- "[[Hell No!]]" "[[Let's do this]]"]]

(link:"Right as you say that,")[Tibschlitz and Dant reappear in the doorway. You and Skutter act as if nothing was going on. (link:"Skutter hits you in the side.")[You realize looking up the "sky" that isn't there, and whistling doesn't look nonchalant. "Ok," Tibschlitz begins. She holds out a hot breakfast tray--utensils and food pouches velcroed down. "The full English breakfast!" (link:"She says jubilantly.")[She says jubilantly. (link:"Shake your head violently side to side")["//NO//," you mouth to Tibschlitz. You add a face of disgust. "Or," she adds, "there's also breakfast bars." Dant clears his throat. "No painkiller medicine I am afraid." Dant shoots you a harsh look. Meanwhile, Skutter nods. --- "[[You sonofabitch]]"]]]]

Right as you say that, Tibschlitz and Dant reappear in the doorway. You and Skutter act as if nothing was going on. (link:"Skutter hits you in the side.")[You realize looking up the "sky" that isn't there, and whistling doesn't look nonchalant in space. "Ok," Tibschlitz begins. She holds out a hot breakfast tray--utensils and food pouches velcroed down. "The full English breakfast!" (link:"She says jubilantly.")[She says jubilantly. (link:"Shake your head violently side to side")["//NO//," you mouth to Melinda. You add a face of disgust. "Or," she adds, "there's also breakfast bars!" (link:"Dant clears his throat.")["No painkiller medicine I am afraid." Dant shoots you a harsh look. Meanwhile, Skutter nods. "Well. I'm glad everyone is alright at least." --- "[[You sonofabitch]]"]]]]

(set:$thwarted to true)The Captain holds himself in the hatchway, one hand on the frame, the other holding a gun. "(link:"What the--")[What the--" you say. Dant and Skutter can't manage any words, but Tibschlitz cries, "Flobble! What the fuck are you doing?" --- [[Flobble hovers there motionless]]]

He's sweating and he looks like he's about to crack. (link:"You remember that time")[You remember that time someone ate his last salted caramel ice cream pack. He almost looks as ready to kill someone now as he did then. "(link:"Damnit Bindle.")[Damnit Bindle." //Shit,// You think. The Captain thinks you're in on this with Skutter. (link:"Save your skin")["I didn't do anything!" You cry. "It was her." You point at Skutter. Flobble floats into the module, his gun steady and closing on the four of you. --- [[Your mind races]]]]]

"Ozra Skutter." Captain Flobble hisses. "Don't move a muscle. You three, restrain her." "What why?" (link:"Tibschlitz asks.")[ "Ejest here found our flagged passenger. She blew the hole in the ship. She has a contract to disable our station, probably issued by a rival Corp." Dant turns to look at Skutter. "Ozra," He says with horror. "Don't act like that Angus." She tells him. "You have to make sacrifices to move up the Corporate ladder." --- [[Help restrain Skutter]]]

(set:$thwarted to 2)It only takes a few minutes to duck tape Skutter's hands behind her back. (link:"She protests")[She protests, "I'm not going to pull anything here." When he's satisfied the Captain looks at you. Then he nods in the direction of the Head. He pushes off the wall and flies toward the hatch. --- [[Follow him]]]

In the Head, it's still dark except for the green lights next to the Galley and Passenger module hatches. "I need to help Jack in the airlock. You need to stay here, and watch these people. Notify me if anyone tries something." He turns to leave. (link:"Ask how he knew")["Wait." You consider what has been happening, and lower your voice. Finally you can ask the burning question you've had since he hovered in the doorway aiming a gun at everyone. "How did you know...that Ozra Skutter...?" (link:"He frowns")["Your mic was still on. You didn't leave it on, on purpose? So Jack and I could hear her talking to you alone?" (link:"Nod and smile")["Oh, yeah. Glad that worked!" You force a completely unconvincing laugh. It's rather unnerving to everybody. Flobble cracks his knuckles. "Damn impressive. I'll be sure to write you the best recommendation possible for your next career move Bindle." --- [[Thank him]]]]]

"Well," you say attempting confidence with an awkward arm stretch. "I was just trying to follow your orders." "We'll talk later." (link:"He heads to the galley hatch, but turns around before leaving.")[ "You know Bindle. I had you figured wrong. You're smarter than you look." "//Douche//," you think to yourself. "One day," Flobble continues, "you just might captain a station like Pecco." (link:"Smile at him")[The captain salutes you as he leaves. --- [[Salute back]]]]

(link:"When the Captain disappears from your view, the lights in the module flicker, then illuminate the Head completely.")[The door of the WCS floats awkwardly, attached by one screw to the WCS itself. You spot the door handle you broke off, floating a couple meters away. Random bits of hardware smack into one another. But most impressively, the walls of the module are splashed with blue sanitizing liquid from the toilet. (link:"The WCS looks like an overturned Port-A-Potty from an outdoor rock concert.")[It's walls are more blue than white. Plus, there are brown splotches in there. (link:"You know it won't be Jack or the Captain cleaning any of this up.")[Before you say anything, you turn off your tablet. You check both hatches for anyone listening. Skutter, Tibschlitz, and Dant are all accounted for in the Passenger module. (link:"Then you say it:")[Then you say it: "I don't want to captain shit." (link:"A career in space was a stupid idea.")[A career in space was a stupid idea. --- (link:"Congratulations!")[You have been awarded the achievement: =><= ''&#9734 Cleanup, Code Brown &#9734'' --- (set:$played to 1)(link:"See your choices")[(goto:"Choice list")]]]]]]]

"She is asleep." (link:"Dant says")[ "At a time like this?" you ask in confusion. You don't believe him. Dant looks away. "She was very stressed out I'm afraid." --- "(link:"Well help me with Ozra here")[(goto:"helpoz")]" [[Accuse Dant]]]

Dant slowly approaches Ozra's body. "Do you know what happened to her?" he asks. Then he wrinkles his nose and plugs it with two fingers. "My heavens she smells terrible." (link:"Make a guess")["Something exploded in the WCS. The pressure is dropping in here and we all have to get out. NOW!" "Let's get her into the light." He says sternly. --- (link:"Follow Dant")[(goto:"dantfound")]]

"What did you do to Tibschlitz, Dant!" (link:"You yell")[ "I didn't do anything. Go see for yourself." Dant grabs Ozra's body. (link:"Threaten him")["I'm armed Dant, so, don't try anything!" (link:"He shakes his head.")["Unbelievable Ejest. Let's just help Ozra." --- (link:"Follow Dant")[(goto:"dantfound")]]]]

Dant guides Ozra into the bright light of the Passenger quarters. (link:"Follow him cautiously")[You follow at a safe distance, your hand sweating on the grip of the stun gun in your pocket. (link:"Dant clears his throat")["Her head appears to be bleeding." Then he moves to a storage bag on the wall. (link:"Stop him")["Hold on!" You readjust your grip on the stun gun. --- "(link:"I want you to open Mel's sleeping bag")[(goto:"melbag")]"]]]

"Ejest," (link:"Dant says slowly")[He looks you in the eyes. "Ozra is critical. We need to treat her now." "No! Open Mel's bag first. We need her help!" (link:"Dant squints his eyes at you.")["I'm afraid I can't do that Ejest. I must treat Ozra." Dant flies over to a bag on the wall. "Mel!" You yell. "Mel get out of there!" (link:"There's no response.")[You feel a cold sweat pooling on your body. In zero G, it just sticks to you and doesn't flow anywhere. You shiver and rustle your clothing. "She can't hear you Ejest." --- (link:"Because you killed her, and Ozra")[(goto:"reveal")]]]]

"No she's heavily tranquilized. As for Ozra, I might be able to help her, but you're the one who attempted murder." (link:"You blink a few times")["What?" "You didn't properly service the waste system pipes. They pressurized all morning, and finally blew while she on the loo." (link:"Oh shit")[You completely forgot to stop the cleaning sequence. "But, hold on. The pressure release valve would have popped harmlessly." Sure it would make a giant mess, but not an explosion. (link:"He smiles")["The valve was broken, I'm afraid. Old ship you know." Dant winks. --- (if:$dentrela is 2)["[[But you've been kind to me]]"] (if:$dentrela is 3)[ [[Dant spins around]]]]]]

Dant pulls a pistol from his flighsuit pocket and points it at you. (link:"Well then")[Suddenly, your stun gun feels about as effective as a knife in a gunfight. (link:"Dant show you something in his other hand.")["I'll let you take three of these tranquilizers. That should give me time to commondear this station. When you wake up, you can meet my employers. They should reimburse you well to keep quiet about all this you know." "(link:"And if I don't take the pills?")[And if I don't take the pills?" "(link:"Then,")[I'm afraid, you won't mind anything anymore Ejest." --- [[I'd rather die!]] [[Pills it is]] ]]]]

Dant pulls a pistol from his flighsuit pocket and points it at you. (link:"Oh, well.")[Suddenly, your stun gun feels about as effective as a knife in a gunfight. --- (link:"Attack Dant")[(goto:"I'd rather die!")]]

(link:"You lower your stun gun.")[It's only good for close quarters. There's no way you can get close enough to Dant now. (link:"He throws the tranquilizers toward you.")[You catch the pills and you're reminded of Dant giving you some painkillers this morning. He seemed so different then. You were so excited to be going home. Now home seems impossible. (link:"Dant moves to grab something")["You can use my bag," he says reaching for a bag of water for you. --- (link:"Now might be your last chance")[ "[[I'd rather die!]]"]]]]

You scream a battlecry that sounds more desperate and pubescent than brave and manly. (link:"Launch off the wall")[You plummet towards Dant. He is definitely taken off guard. (link:"Pull the stun gun trigger")[The stun gun makes sharp crackling noises and you see sparks arc between the metal tips. (link:"Dant fires the gun.")[The sound is deafening, but it doesn't slow you down. You feel nothing. (link:"Electrocute Dant")[You try to jab Dant with the stun gun but he lets go of his pistol and grabs your wrist. The two of your struggle with each other. Then Dant is pushing the stun gun back towards your neck with both hands. --- [[Fight him back]]]]]]

(link:"KICK")[You kick at him wildly. One of those kicks seems to hit him right in the family jewels. Dant lets out a "Guuyp!" Now you're on the offensive again. (link:"Push the stun gun close to Dant's eye.")[His legs wrap around yours however. He pulls your body closer to his, (link:"then wrenches the stun gun from your hands.")[ (link:"He jabs it into your side.")[He jabs it into your side. There's nothing you can do, as 50 million volts of electricity make your muscles spasm. --- [[You cry out involuntarily]]]]]]

(link:"Dant smiles.")[Another gunshot deafens you. (link:"This time Dant screams,")[Dant screams and you feel pain in your side. (link:"Look down")[There's blood all over Dant's stomach, and on your flightsuit. Then you really start feeling a white hot pain in your side. (link:"Dant grips his bloodied stomach.")[You hear Dant moan. Then a voice. "Get off of my Engineer intern you sonofabitch." (link:"Look up at the doorway")[You look up at the doorway --- (link:"Captain Flobble is in the doorway, a pistol in his hand.")[(goto:"The aftermath")]]]]]]

(set:$thwarted to 2)(link:"The Captain flies over to the two of you")[He pushes Dant off to the side. Blood is quickly pooling on Dant's flightsuit. A few droplets break off and float through the air as his body is propelled into a wall. "Capt--" (link:"You attempt")[you attempt. "OW." Everything really hurts now, starting with your side. "We'll fix you first buddy," he says. "(link:"Did you,")[Did you, OW. Shoot, Me?" "Yeah maybe this thing is a little stronger than I need," he says referring to his pistol. It looks far too large for practical use on Earth, let alone in a space station. Dant chokes. "(link:"Down")[Down with Earth tyranny." He coughs and spheres of blood float away from him. "You work for Xenu's agents, don't you see? There's still time to stop them." "Shut up or I'll shoot you again psycho." The Captain spits. "My thetan, my thetan lives on." Dant goes silent, staring up at the ceiling. Apparently, his thetan is slow to leave his body. He looks at you a few times, perhaps wondering if you can still see him. --- [[Ow]]]]]]

(set:$dead to 3)Removing a bullet hurts. Real bad. (link:"You know that now.")[At least the Captain got it out. It actually didn't penetrate very deep into your side. Flobble also puts a bandage on your ear. Turns out, Dant's shot hit you after all. But it was just a graze. (link:"Next")[The two of you wash and bandage Ozra. She makes a quick recovery, thankfully. Six hours later, Melinda Tibschlitz groggely awakens. (link:"And Dant")[Dant doesn't pull through. Good riddance, everyone decides. You wrap him in plastic and duct tape, then stuff him in his sleeping bag until the transfer. --- [[Dinner]]]]]

Tibschlitz slowly approaches Ozra's body. "Do you know what happened to her?" She asks. "God she smells awful." (link:"Make a guess")["Something exploded in the WCS. The pressure is dropping in here. We have to get to out." "Let's get her into the light." --- [[She grabs Ozra]]]

You watch her pull Ozra through the hatch, into the brightly lit Passenger module. (link:"Follow her cautiously")[You follow at a safe distance, your hand sweating on the grip of the stun gun in your pocket. You try to close the hatch and keep an eye on Tibschlitz, but it's not easy. (link:"In fact it's impossible")[You keep glancing back at the hatch and then her. (link:"Close the hatch")[Finally you manage it, while Melinda examines Ozra's head wound. "What do you need that for?" she asks. (link:"Wait, she what?")["Huh?" you mutter completely freaked out that she knows about your stun gun. "The weapon in your pocket," she says calmly. She looks up at you now. (link:"Then you notice, Dant isn't anywhere.")[You have to ask. --- "[[Where's Dant?]]"]]]]]

"He's asleep in his bag," she says nodding in the direction of Dant's sleeping bag on the wall. (link:"You don't buy it.")[ "You're lying." "Check if you don't believe me," she says matter of factly. She goes back to examining Ozra. "I'll need bandages." (link:"Yell for Dant")["Dant!" You yell. "Dant!" "He took tranquilizers." "Why would he do that?" "To cut down on oxygen use. We didn't know what was happening except that we were sealed in here. Grab me the bandages from the med kit" --- [[Get the bandages]] [[Check Dant's bag]]]]

You head to the red med kit on the wall to your right. (link:"Open it")[You rip open the velcro. The contents seem pretty bear. "(link:"Where")[Where are the--" you begin, but when you look at Tibschlitz, you can't finish. Two ideas smack your head simultaneously. (link:"First")[Melinda lied, she doesn't need bandages]. (link:"Second")[She might kill you. (link:"In her hand")[In her hand is a pistol. (link:"You can see straight down the barrel")[ "Listen to me very carefully Ejest." //Well, there's not much else to do,// you figure. "Your captain is a wanted man. Help me capture him and you'll get more money than in a lifetime of working as an engineer." "(link:"Uh")[Uh, well, which did Dant choose?" "You're going to help me, because you're smart, and because it's the right thing to do." Her gun is a lot more convincing than her talk. --- [[Help Tibschlitz]]]]]]]]

"Where are you going?" Tibschlitz asks when you don't head for the med kit. You reach Dant's sleeping bag. "We need to stabalize Ozra, get me those bandages Bindle!" (link:"Open the zipper")[(link:"Inside")[Dant's mouth is taped shut; his eyes closed. "You--" (link:"escapes from your mouth, but")[when you look at Tibschlitz, you can't finish it. Two ideas smack your head simultaneously. (link:"First")[Melinda lied, she doesn't need bandages]. (link:"Second")[She might kill you. (link:"In her hand")[In her hand is a pistol. (link:"You can see straight down the barrel")[ "Listen to me very carefully Ejest." //There's not much else to do really.// "Your Captain is a wanted man. Help me capture him and you'll get paid more money than a lifetime of working as an engineer." (link:"Make a decision")["Uh, well, which did Dant choose?" "You're going to help me, because you're smart, and because it's the right thing to do." Her gun is a lot more convincing than her talk. --- [[Help Tibschlitz]]]]]]]]]

"We're going to the Flight module." Tibschlitz says. She gestures for you to move to the hatch, //with her pistol//. (link:"Follow her ballistic gesture")[You push off the wall. "Oh," (link:"she says")["And leave your taser and your tablet here." (link:"Remove them for her")[You remove them from your person. They float it in the air and you breathe a heavy sigh. "Let's go," she says. --- [[Into the galley]]]]]

You worry about the pressure loss in the Head, but the hatch opens fine. Still, you recommend Melinda close the hatches just in case. She does. Arriving at the Flight hatch, you prepare to knock, then (link:"you realize one advantage you have.")[you realize one advantage you have. If you don't knock first, maybe the Captain will suspect something is wrong. "Don't try anything Bindle. My gun is in my pocket here, still aimed at you." (link:"Open the hatch")[You pull the hatch open, without knocking. "Bindle! That you?" comes from inside the module. (link:"Flobble is at a control panel.")[He looks worried. (link:"Tell him quick!")["I--" But you're shoved to the left. "Don't move Flobble!" Tibschlitz yells at him brandishing the gun. --- [[You hit the wall]]]]]]

"YOU!" The Captain says. "Bumble! Quick take her out!" (link:"Consider the options")["What? No. She has a gun dude." "She wouldn't dare shoot it inside this station. (link:"It could")[It could--" A loud bang ends the Captain's sentence with...well a (link:"bang.")[bang. "GAHHHH!" Flobble yells gripping his leg. "What the fuck!?" You yell at Tibschlitz. (link:"She shrugs")["He moved." "Son of a bitch!" Flobble screams. "Search him Bindle. I'm sure this traitor is armed like me." You don't have much choice in the matter. --- [[Fly over to Flobble]]]]]]

(link:"Apologize to the Captain")["Sorry sir," you say as you approach him. "You're helping her you spineless..." Flobble says something else, but its lost in gnashing teeth and a groan of pain. (link:"Look in his pockets")[You remove objects from his pockets: A pill (link:"bottle,")[bottle, a couple (link:"pens,")[pens, (link:"a chocolate bar--")[a chocolate bar--(link:"//hey you hid this one in your bedroom last week!//")[ Then you find a nighttime (link:"retainer,")[retainer, oh and also a (link:"revolver.")[revolver. "Give it here Bindle," Tibschlitz says. You hold the revolver a moment, (link:"considering--")[ "I can shoot you a lot faster than you can me." --- [[Shoot her]] [[Throw her the gun]] (if:$dentrela is 3)[ [[You see someone in the doorway]]]]]]]]]]]]

"OK," you tell her releasing the revolver. It drifts slowly over to Melinda. (link:"She catches it deftly with one hand.")[She places Flobble's revolver in her pocket, then returns to holding her own pistol with two hands. "Now give me command of the ship //Eldridge Badau//." (link:"Who the--")[You turn your head slowly to look at Flobble. Does he look like, an Eldridge? "You have no idea," Flobble, or Eldridge, or whatever, says. (link:"You really can't see him as an Eldridge looking sort.")[ Not that you've ever in your life heard //that// as a first name. Tibschlitz commands you to go to a Flight console, and enter a command prompt. "Well?" (link:"she asks the Captain.")[she asks the Captain. "My leg." "We see your leg Eldridge. Tell Ejest your password or you'll get a bullet somewhere worse." (link:"The Captain gulps.")[He looks at you in panic, terrified. Then you swear (link:"he winks at you.")[he winks at you. "Poopiepants69," he whispers. (link:"You chuckle")[You try to stifle it, but you can't help chuckling. --- [[Enter the password]]]]]]]]]

(set:$dead to 2)As fast as possible, (link:"you aim the revolver at Tibschlitz and fire.")[you aim the revolver at Tibschlitz and fire. Your shot misses her, hitting in a wall pouch that explodes with fuzzy bits of brown insulation. (link:"Melinda Tibschlitz stays motionless for a second.")[//She almost looks sorry// (link:"as she fires her gun.")[ The last thing you feel is something hard slam you in the forehead. Then you see the ceiling and lose consciousness. (link:"Well")[Maybe it was worth this achievement: =><= ''&#9734 Gunslinger Intern &#9734'' --- (set:$thwarted to 3)(set:$played to 1)(link:"See your choices")[(goto:"Choice list")]]]]]

You can't tell who it is, but somone is slowly moving through the Galley hatch behind Tibschlitz. (link:"Give her the gun")["OK. I'll give you the gun," you tell her. "Alright." You hesitate in order to give the person time. (link:"Tibschlitz gets impatient")["Throw it over here already Bindle." (link:"As slowly as possible, you wind up to throw the gun at her.")[Just in time (link:"someone")[Dant grabs Tibschlitz around the arms. He locks his hands together across her chest. (link:"Point the gun at her")[You fumble with the revolver. At first it's pointed at your head. Reorienting, you get it the right way around--barrel towards Tibschlitz. "Stop it! Let go! You don't know what you're doing!" She yells. --- "[[Let go of the gun!]]"]]]]]

Tibschlitz squirms; flails her legs wildly. It's no use and she realizes it. (link:"She lets go of her gun.")[She lets go of her gun. "You have no idea who he is do you?" she says with rage. "Three years ago, Flobble was Eldridge Badau. He killed his own Captain, accusing him of Corporate espionage. The only reason he never stood trial was because his own employer paid out an undisclosed settlement to the Captain's family." "And you were going to kill him?" (link:"You ask.")[You ask. "No. I'm going to get him to stand trial." "(link:"Is that true?")[Is that true?" you ask Flobble. "Total. Complete. Lies." He gasps. (link:"There's a //THUNK//.")[It must be Jack in the airlock. You need to get him back inside. --- [[Go to the Airlock]]]]]]

(link:"What?")[You snoozed twenty times? (link:"Yes. And?")[Well you slept through everything. Great job. (link:"Thanks")[Why play a complex choice based narrative when you can click a button twenty times? (link:"I felt like it.")[You know there's an actual storyline here? (link:"Shrug")[Well I feel like this: (link:"Click for your achievement")[NOTHING! HA! (link:"Hey that's not nice")[Oh so sorry. Here: (link:"Click for your achievement")[ =><= ''&#9734 You Are A Completely Annoying Person &#9734'' --- //Now make some real choices. Refresh the webpage or click here: * [[START]] // ]]]]]]]]

Your morning helper appears on the (link:"screen.")[screen. "Good morning Ejest!" says an irritatingly cheery robot voice. "Your duties today begin with cleaning the pipes in the sanitation module." (link:"Sigh")["Greeeaat," you add. Your personal //helper// continues with his sickening cheeriness. "This is your beginning of shift, station equipment status update; brought to you by (link:"//Madoff-Monsanto LLC.//")[//Madoff-Monsanto LLC.//" "Click on each item to confirm you saw the notification. //Reminder: ignoring notifications results in witheld pay//." --- On the screen is the (link:"following:")[(goto:"stationreport" )]]]]

Your morning helper appears on cracked screen of your tablet. Part of him is yellow, while the other (link:"flickers black and white.")[flickers black and white. "Guten Morgen!" Says an irritatingly cheery robot voice. "Ihre Aufgaben beginnen mit der Reinigung der Rohre in der Sanitärmodul." (link:"Sigh")["Greeeaat," you add. Normally, when your tablet isn't broken, the helper (link:"speaks English.")[speaks English. "Esta es tu comienzo del turno, actualizar el estado del equipo estación. Haga clic en cada artículo para confirmar que viste la notificación." //"Recordatorio: ignorar notificaciones resultados en los salarios retenidos."// --- (link:"駅レポート")[(goto:"stationreport")]]]]

"Sounds about right," you tell your tablet. (link:"One day more")[You've worked on stations for the past year. //Pecco// has been the worst. About what you'd expect for a far flung station on its last legs. (link:"Tomorrow")[Tomorrow you'll be aboard a ship headed the opposite direction from Titan. Thanks to your Aunt, //Madoff-Monsanto, LLC// should have a place for you as a full fledged space engineer. Maybe on Phobos, or even, in Earth's orbit. (link:"Turn arond")[You push off the wall to reorient yourself, (link:"and")[and it's awful. Nausea, migraine, thirst. "Jesus Ejest." You tell yourself. "No more drinking." Your lips feel cracked and your tongue...hairy? "(link:"Just...")[Just one more day." --- Look around at [[Your bedroom.]]]]]]]

==><= ''Pecco Station report'' 81 errors detected (link:"confirm?")[(text-color: green)[(confirmed)] 54 systems require inspection (link:"confirm?")[(text-color: green)[(confirmed)] 102 parts require replacement (link:"confirm?")[(text-color: green)[(confirmed)] life support systems: (text-color: #ff6600)[''UNSAFE''] (link:"confirm?")[(text-color: green)[(confirmed)] Crew: 3 (link:"confirm?")[(text-color: green)[(confirmed)] Passengers: 3 (link:"confirm?")[(text-color: green)[(confirmed)] Time to destination: 27 hours --- (if:$broken is false)[ [[Close the report]]](if:$broken is true)[ [[Close out]]]]]]]]]

"Sounds about right," you tell your tablet. Normally your tablet isn't broken and speaking different languages. (link:"Not that it matters")[One more day, and you're done with this place. You've worked on stations for the past year and Pecco has been the worst. About what you'd expect for a far flung station on its last legs. (link:"Tomorrow")[Tomorrow you'll be aboard a ship headed the opposite direction from Titan. Thanks to your Aunt, //Madoff-Monsanto LLC// should have a place for you as a full fledged space engineer. Maybe on Phobos, or even, in Earth's orbit. (link:"Turn arond")[You push off the wall to reorient yourself, (link:"and")[and it's awful. Nausea, migraine, thirst. "Jesus Ejest." You tell yourself. "No more drinking." Your lips feel cracked and your tongue...hairy? "(link:"Just...")[Just one more day." --- Look around at [[Your bedroom.]] ]]]]]

<img src="http://collinpointon.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Space-Poop-cover.jpg" width="500" height="300" alt="Space Poop"> (set:$played to 0)''Not that far in the future, in your very own'' (link:"Solar System...")[''Solar System...'' ♫ (link:"DUH!")[ DUH! duh duh duh! duh duh Dum, duh duh Dum, duh (link:"duh...")[duh... ♫ Scores of space stations orbit the sun, and its (link:"planets!")[planets! Together, they form a transport network for people and (link:"goods")[goods and crap like that. A ''Hohman Transfer'' is the point where one station's orbit intercepts another! Sometimes dozens of ships, loaded with goods and people and crap, switch from one space station to the (link:"next!")[next! This piggyback ride through the System is the only practical way to manage the multi-trillion dollar endeavor that is space (link:"travel!")[travel! One of the least populated routes, is out to Saturn's gaseous moon (link:"Titan!")[Titan! Only a few manned space stations exist this far out! But with dwindling oil reserves on Earth, every day more eyes turn to this secluded (link:"moon!")[moon! Many see opportunity! Some for profit, others for (link:"something else...")[something else... Aboard ''Pecco Station'', Engineering Intern ''Ejest Bindle'' sees only one day left of mandatory hands-on training. (link:"Only one more day")[Only one more day of cleaning the station's toilet used by six people. --- [[START]]]]]]]]]]]]]

As usual, it's a tight squeeze to get through the Docking module when the airlock is open. There's a red pouch on the other wall. (link:"Check inside")[Inside is a med kit. (link:"Unzip it.")[There are a few bandages, plastic tweezers, swabs, and the littlest most adorable tube of antibiotic ointment. (link:"ointment?")[You think about the word ointment. It sounds so funny. OINTment. OI! -ntment.]]] (if: $pipes is false)[You hear a crackle as a speaker flips on. (if: $yell is true)["BUMBLE! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT LEAVING SANITATION BEFORE FLUSHING THOSE PIPES!" Cpt. Flobble yells.](if: $yell is false)["Bindle." You recognize Cpt. Flobble's voice. "Make sure to flush those pipes for our E.V.A soon."]] --- Flip around and go to [[Your bedroom.]]

The Galley still looks a bit riffled through, but no one is in it this time. (link:"Remember")[You try to remember more of last night. Jack and the Captain thanked you for your service--that was //after// you and the passengers started drinking the God awful ethanol and Tang cocktail. (link:"At first")[When they showed up in Sanitation, you thought you were in deep shit. But Jack couldn't hold back laughter as the Captain feigned outrage. (link:"Jack")[Jack burst out laughing, and everyone along with him. Not you though. You sort of nervously chuckled; still worried about being caught drinking on the job. (link:"Teeechnically...")[Teeechnically being tipsy during an emergency (which is like all the time in space) puts you AND your crew at severe risk. But, emergencies of the someone-is-dying kind haven't happened during your time aboard. (link:"All Day every day")[Day in, day out it's mundane for you. Space is big; insanely, stupidly, monototonously big. You restarted //Tiny Farm Builder III// twice--getting the highest score possible: //twice//. --- (link:"Stop yourself at the Flight module hatch")[(goto:"flighthatch")]]]]]]

"I'm keeping my toolbelt, thank you very much." Jack doesn't seem happy about that. He points at the wall. (link:"Look over there")[You follow his finger. Eventually you see his tablet, stuck with velcro to the wall of the module. (link:"Pick it up")[You fly over to it and rip it off the wall. Then you hand it over to Jack. After a round of angry clicking, he hands it back to you.(set:$jacktab to true) "//Alrighty, can you hear me, finally?//" it says to you. (link:"Respond to the voice")["Uh, yes?" You manage cautiously. (link:"The realization")[//Oh.// Then you realize Jack used an alternate com system; tuning the tablet to the same channel the headsets use. (link:"Respond to Jack")["Yeah. Can you hear me?" --- [[There's a pause]] ]]]]]

Waste Control System, a.k.a. the toilet, a.k.a. the ivory throne. (link:"It's")[It's a state of the art wiz palace--(link:"well")[well, eighteen years ago it was state of the art. (link:"The door")[There's a flimsy door that opens like an accordian to afford the "user" some privacy. Inside the door is hardly enough room for a child, let alone a male adult. There are some stirrups to hold your body in a mildly comfortable fecalling position. (link:"Apparatus")[The, well, apparatus itself consists of basically two vacuums. A hose with a yellow funnel trailing along the wall is for //numero uno//. The brown seat is the throne for //numero dos//. These pose a multitude of problems. First, you have to be extremely careful as to which //numero// you plan to begin with. (LINK:"THE VACUUMS ARE NOT INTERCHANGEABLE.")[Liquids in the hose, solids in the bowl. It gives potty training a whole new meaning. (link:"Thank NASA")[ "Thanks NASA!" And the many packs of baby wipes velcroed to the walls? Those are essential for the inevitable "accidents." --- [[The head]] ]]]]]]

You feel nervous, tired, and awkward as the crew assails you with overlapping babble. (link:"Tibschlitz")[Tibschlitz looks the most furious. "I can't believe..." she says. You expect lasers to shoot from her eyes. You notice her blond hair is put back in a tight bun. She looks a lot more professional than last night. You don't appreciate the change. (link:"Dant")[Dant is nervous looking as always. He's gripping his head in a bid to get some control over the situation. Now his head is turning purple. (link:"Ozra")[Ozra Skutter is talking so fast you can't catch a complete word. Sometimes she breaks out in a language you don't even understand. You remember she's originally from somewhere in the Middle East. (link:"Geography")[You're pretty bad with Earth geography. Well ok, any geography. --- [[Call for silence]] ]]]]

You examine your broken tablet and (link:"try to dismiss the audio.")[try to dismiss the audio. It doesn't work. (link:"The speakers blare at you")["PRESSURE LOSS DETECTED." Normally, you'd check the ship status menu, but you broke your tablet, because you're a genius. (link:"Smack it")[Like the genius that you are, you smack the screen in frustration. (link:"That does something")[The tablet starts playing Mariachi music.(set:$mariachi to true) (link:"Flobble looks at you")[He looks at you and says nothing.. Meanwhile the tablet is blaring with Mexican trumpets. (link:"A harmony")[Then it screeches "WARNING, PRESSURE LOSS DETECTED" while a man sings: ♫ "//Son mil palomas tu caserío ¡Guadalajara, Guadalajara! Hueles a pura tierra mojaaadaaaaa.//" ♫ --- [[Try something else]]]]]]]]

Then you remember, you also have Jack's tablet. (link:"Find it")[The second tablet is strapped to your left thigh. (link:"Unstrap it")[(link:"Open the ship status menu")[There are systems out all over the place--blinking various colored levels of (text-color: #ff6600)[''Serious''], (text-color: red)[''Critical''], and ''Offline''. (link:"Visual")[There is a handy app that overlays the ship system statuses onto a station map. (LINK:"Open the app")[The map appears. The first thing you notice is a module glowing (text-color: red)[red]: (link:"it's...")[it's the Head. (link:"Ay!")[Your broken tablet sings: ♫ //Ay ay ay ay! Colomitos lejanos. Ay! Ojitos de agua hermaaanooooos.// ♫ --- [[Head for the Head]]]]]]]]]

Jack brings dinner to Ozra, Melinda, and you in the Passenger quarters. Then he leaves to work on the patch in the Head. (link:"Ask Mel about Dant")["So what did he do with you, before the explosion?" "Well," she starts, finishing her bite of margherita pizza. "He aimed a gun at me and told me to take those pills." She pauses a while. "If I had known half the people here were armed I would have fought back. How was I to know?" (link:"Agree")["Yeah. I didn't know there were so many weapons aboard." "Including the toilet," Ozra grunts. (link:"Apologize")["I'm sorry," you tell her. "There's just so many ship systems that need repairing. I tend to dismiss all the warnings." (link:"Mel pipes up")["None of us knew about Dant." She says firmly. --- [[Your tablet chimes]]]]]]

It's the Captain calling. (link:"Answer")[ "Yeah?" You say answering the call. "You'll all want to hear this." He says. "Just learned a lot about our //dear friend// Angus Dant." "Ok," (link:"you say, turning up the volume on your tablet.")[ "The higher ups investigated when I sent them a report. Of course, signals take an hour, one way, but they just got back to me." Flobble clears his throat. "They say we're all heroes, model employees and all that. We're getting paid trips back home if we want them." You break out in a smile, and watch Ozra and Mel do the same. (LINK:"Flobble continues")["As for 'Angus.' He has all kinds of radical Scientology writings about the Corporations being run by Xenu's agents and all that nonsense. Apparently his actual name was Fleric Bilgechuck." --- (link:"You look down at your pizza floating nearby. You don't feel hungry now.")[(goto:"pizza")]]]]

(link:"Ask about Dant's employers")["Who were his 'employers'?" you ask Flobble. "Hell if I know. The investigation is ongoing. He could have made it all up or maybe there's more of these radical idiots." "(link:"Lovely,")[Lovely," Mel adds. "Ten hours to transfer people." Jack says over the station speakers. (link:"Call it a night")["I think I'll go back to my bedroom," you say. (link:"As you go Mel stops you.")[ "Ejest." She looks shy, for the first time you've ever seen. "Thank you, for everything." You blush. --- "[[Just doing my duty]]" "[[Yeah I'm pretty much a hero]]"]]]]

Mel smirks. "As an apprentice flight engineer? No I think you did a lot more than your job description this time." (link:"Nod")[You nod. It's very true. "Well, I'll see you when we dock I guess." --- "[[Yeah]]" (if:$condoms is true)[ [[Show Mel the condoms you picked up]]]]

"And you're real humble about it," Mel says with a laugh. "No seriously," (link:"she says confidently")[she says confidently. "You are a hero though. You probably saved every one of us from God knows what Dant had planned." (link:"Shrug")[You shrug. No big deal here. "Well, I'll see you when we dock I guess." --- "[[Yeah]]" (if:$condoms is true)[ [[Show Mel the condoms you picked up]]]]]

An awkward silence falls. Really what you were thinking was not, "Yeah," but "//Girl you want me! Hell YES EJEST!//" (link:"Neither of you say anything though")[You both awkwardly depart. Things are going to be good you realize. (link:"And then..")[And then the station implodes. (link:"Oh well.")[I'm kidding. But the thought does cross your mind. You have this peculiar habits of envisioning horrible events whenever things are going really well. You might want to see someone about that. --- (link:"Congratulations!")[You have been awarded the achievement: =><= ''&#9734 Hail Xenu &#9734'' --- (set:$played to 1)(link:"See your choices")[(goto:"Choice list")]]]]]

(set:$prop to true)While you flash the condoms, you tell her, "So we have plenty of time..." (link:"You smile")[Tibschlitz smacks you across the cheek. The condoms fly out of your hand too. "Goodbye. Bindle." She says with finality. (link:"You recover with grace")["Hero." You say loudly and proudly. You also point to yourself and glance at Ozra back in the module. She shakes her head at you, but she also has a big grin on her face. (link:"You head back to your bedroom")["//It was a worth a try,//" you tell yourself. --- (link:"Congratulations!")[You have been awarded the achievement: =><= ''&#9734 Sleezy Hero &#9734'' --- (set:$played to 1)(link:"See your choices")[(goto:"Choice list")]]]]]

(link:"Grab Tibschlitz's pistol")[You grab the pistol on the way to the airlock. (link:"Inside")[Inside the airlock, Jack is already out of his suit, tapping, nay, rapping, on the hatch door. (link:"Open it")[You momentarily let go of your gun collection to open the hatch. When the hatch is open but a crack, Jack yells, "What the hell is going on!" like he's wanted to say that for a half hour. (link:"Hand him a gun")[Here, you'll need this." You hand him one of the guns from your collection. Jack has an expression on his face like you just told him you think he's your soul mate, and then proceeded to slap him. --- [[Reenter the Flight module]]]]]]

(link:"Hit the //Enter// key")["SELF DESTRUCT SEQUENCE STARTED" a robotic voice echoes through the whole station. (link:"The Captain laughs maniacally")["A gift to you," he quips at Melinda, "from Eldridge Badau." "(link:"UUUUUHHHHH!")[UUUUUHHHHH!" is all you can say while mashing buttons on the keyboard of the console. The screen shows: =><= (link:"3")[(text-color:red)[''2''] --- [[He grins]]]]]]

"Why doesn't it start at ten, OR A HUNDRED!" you yell. (link:"Melinda doesn't move.")[Melinda doesn't move. The Captain laughs again. The screen shows: =><= (link:"2")[(text-color:red)[''1''] --- [[Smash the keyboard]]]]

(link:"...")["ERROR DETECTED. SYSTEM INSPECTION REQUIRED." (link:"Open your eyes. You closed them waiting for the fiery death an explosion.")[The screen shows: ==><= Click to confirm. //Reminder: ignoring notifications results in witheld pay//. ''Pecco Station report'' 82 errors detected (link:"confirm?")[(text-color: green)[(confirmed)] 55 systems require inspection (link:"confirm?")[(text-color: green)[(confirmed)] life support systems: (text-color: yellow)[''UNSAFE''] (link:"confirm?")[(text-color: green)[(confirmed)] Time to destination: 22 hours --- [[Turn]]]]]]]

"You should really get that fixed," Tibschlitz says. --- [[An hour later]]

(link:"Ozra")[Ozra's is awake, clean, and her head is bandaged. (link:"Dant")[Dant is asleep in his bag, but you check his vital signs to be sure every hour. (link:"Jack")[Jack is safely inside the station. (link:"Flobble")[Flobble is sleeping soundly thanks to some morphine. He's also tied up with zip-ties per Melinda's orders. (link:"As for Melinda")[She commandeered the ship. She points a gun at anyone entering the Flight module. Your tablet rings. (link:"Pick it up")["Ejest," Tibschlitz says to you. "If Dant's vitals are good, you can start cleaning the Bioenrichment array." "(link:"Um,")[Um," you mumble. "OK." "(link:"I'm kidding.")[I'm kidding." (link:"Thank God")[Tibschlitz may be some sort of vigilante, mercenary, undercover agent, or something, but at least she wouldn't try and blow up the whole station. Right now, that makes her a qualified Captain in your opinion. "Thanks Boss," you tell her. --- (link:"Congratulations!")[You have been awarded the achievement: =><= ''&#9734 Intern Mutineer &#9734'' --- (set:$played to 1)(set:$thwarted to 4)(link:"See your choices")[(goto:"Choice list")]]]]]]]]]]]

(link:"Ozra")[Ozra's is awake, clean, and her head is bandaged. (link:"Dant")[Dant is asleep in his bag, but you check his vital signs to be sure every hour. (link:"Jack")[Jack is in charge of docking the station at the transfer point. (link:"Flobble")[Flobble is sleeping soundly thanks to some morphine. (link:"Tibschlitz")[Melinda Tibschlitz is restrained in her sleeping bag, with some duct tape over her mouth so she can't do anymore damage. Your tablet rings. (link:"Pick it up")["Ejest," Jack says to you. "If Dant's vitals are good, you can start cleaning the Bioenrichment array." "(link:"Um,")[Um," you mumble. "OK." "(link:"...")[Just kidding buddy." Jack clears his throat. "(link:"Hey")[Hey, how did Mel take out Ozra anyway? Did you find an explosive or something in the WCS?" (link:"You swallow")["Dunno. I just put the patch on the leak like you said." Apparently, Jack didn't notice the pipe cleaning sequence running all morning; just like you didn't. (link:"There's silence on the line.")["Fair enough," he says and the call ends. --- (link:"Congratulations!")[You have been awarded the achievement: =><= ''&#9734 Just Act Dumb &#9734'' --- (set:$played to 1)(set:$thwarted to 2)(link:"See your choices")[(goto:"Choice list")]]]]]]]]]]]]]

"Get off of me!" Melinda yells at Dant just as you reenter the Flight module. Dant looks like he's sleep walking. His eyelids are barely parted, and the duct tape over his mouth is still there. "(link:"Stop")[Stop squirming," you command Tibschlitz. "What the--" Jack says. He sounds precisely like a man would when he finds out his Captain is shot; one passenger is trying to steal the ship; and another is wrestling her in a tranquilizer haze. (link:"The Captain reacts")["Jack! Shoot this pirate!" Flobble yells. "Captain--your leg," (link:"he says confused.")[he says confused. "Damn my leg, shoot her!" "Oh," you begin. "So now your leg is no big deal, you want her shot. (link:"Don't bother Jack.")[Don't bother Jack. One of these two is lying. And while I may be just an intern, I don't trust either anymore." You quickly explain what Melinda told you about Flobble. (link:"All Jack says")[All Jack says during that time is, "Eldridge?" When you finish he adds, "I always thought Flobble was a made up name." (link:"Together")[Together, Jack and you find some hosing from the airlock to use on Tibschlitz as restraints. You use more hosing as a tourniquet for the Captain's leg. Neither of you can pry any more information from Tibschlitz or the Captain. (link:"They both refuse to speak another word.")[They both refuse to speak another word. --- [[Two hours later]] ]]]]]]]